Vincent the Peaceful Assassin

Basket Case

2012-01-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

Afternoon bike rides are kinda painful not for the vigorous exercise it allows me but the current state of the state (that's you Selangor). I don't know what's really going on with the government but for God's sake you could start picking up the trash as per regular schedule right about now because you're ruining the evening breeze. All I wanted yesterday was a calm stroll through the streets of my (recently turned dangerous) neighborhood but now I see how you're in on the plot of the universe to keep me idle. But you're wrong. Fear of inhaling the stench of decaying organic matter and soiled diapers only make you stronger. In this case, I had to carry my skinny ass on a bike that I'm not quite certain of how to shift into the proper gear while going up a hill and mind you, I ain't got no real upper body strength and my left knee is whacked. But I did it! Because I love myself enough. I WIN.

And how pleasant that after I had enough maneuvering through lumps of trash along the route, I carefully mapped out my way back home so that I wouldn't die on my bike from the sight of maggots (can't help the irrational paralyzing fear of the protein rich wrigglies), I made it back safely without being kidnapped by a white van and spared from spotting any form of legless creatures. I parked my bike in the driveway and then headed to the side of the house to warm down with my furry buddies. I was looking for my fluffiest and grumpiest cat Parsi (his REAL name because we were too creative with his actual first real name -it was totally gay in a Teletubbies kind of way that even HE was embarrassed of it) who would normally spend the afternoon asleep between potted plants but this time I found him elsewhere. Drooling in a basket like he had a long night doing the Macarena! Note that the basket is not a cat basket. It was just a basket my mom probably left out to wash but kinda forgot to and Parsi looked soooo adorable in it I went in to grab the camera. Realizing what I was about to do, he quickly got up and composed himself before I could get evidence of his innate cuteness. And no I did not stage the scene. This isn't an episode of a reality TV show so why make the effort? Real life of the normal is indeed way less complicated.

And that is all this post is really about.

And yes, that is the expression on his face about 98% of the time.

why are u not smiling?

2012-01-23T21:18:00.003+08:00

I'm confused

slowly but surely

2012-01-23T12:09:00.000+08:00

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.
Michael Korda

The size of greatness doesn't have to be great.

1. Before, I couldn't touch my toes while standing straight.

-->Now I can do the dog! I.e. touch my palms to the floor while standing straight.
Everyday when I was 17 I would try to reach lower and lower. By the time the year was through, I could do that and other weird contortions which I told myself was some form of yoga. I realize now, when I do that or any other contortions that I don't do as regularly as I did back when I was 17, the pain never went away. But at some point, after doing things gradually, accepting the pain as it was and not letting it get in the way, I could touch my toes and lots more.

2. Before, I couldn't fill out forms. Or run errands. You know, like paying for the electricity bills.

-->I don't know why, forms are such scary things. I suppose it's the capital letters they tell you to use, which shouts out "This is serious! You can't mess up!" Also they like to bold things in red which is also very scary. The fear stiffens you. I hated filling up forms, I found them painful and I avoided them. I worried that I could never function as an adult because ALL that adults seem to do is fill out forms. Then I noticed that a lot of adults fill out forms really badly. And their forms get processed anyway. And if you get to the bank counter and you missed something, they don't dispense a firing squad to take you out! They tell you what you missed and you fill that in. So obviously, I can fill out forms now, no sweat. In fact, I've filled out some pretty ridiculous forms in my opinion. And I survived them all.

3. Before, I couldn't run for longer than one minute.

--> Oh yes, there is a funny story I like to tell people about how BAD I was at running. I actually joined a relay race in high school. I was the last person to run and my team was placed at the furthest track, so I had a 'headstart'. It was all good for the first, oh, five seconds. Then everyone passed me and I felt like passing out. And when everyone else had crossed the finish line, I was still half way on the track. I couldn't run anymore, but I didn't want to give up. So I walked, but pumped my fists as if I were running. I thought it might fool people into thinking I was running very slow. Now, I can run much longer than five seconds. I run regularly, at least once a week. I ran two 10km races, and finished the first in an hour 22 minutes and the second in an hour 17 minutes. I even won a third place medal (out of 5 people hahah) for a 6km race at my sister's school. And it's similar to my touching my toes story-- it's not that running is any less painful, only that my tolerance to the pain increased and it gives me room to enjoy the satisfaction of pushing myself a little bit.

4. Before, I couldn't do anything that requires upper body strength; no pushups no wallclimbing.

--> And now I can! But yeah, I am still weakest in my upper body, but I'm getting better! I can do 20 reps of man pushups in one session (haha) and I've climbed a wall to the top in a reasonable amount of time. I think having higher tolerance for pain also boosts up the mental confidence that "I can do it! I can finish this! It won't kill me!" And confidence is crucial when you are doing something that otherwise puts you out of your element. Like scaling a wall 20meters high while being belayed to a man you don't know.

5. Before, I couldn't cook Malay food, couldn't understand how it worked.

--> This one is a bit tricky. I'm no masterchef. But I've definitely developed more confidence int the kitchen. Certain things just make sense, and certain things don't. Like chicken with ginger. Vegetables with garlic. A good mix of garlic, ginger, and shallots for heavily spiced gravy. Asam jawa for curry and sambal tumis, but asam keping for asam pedas or singgang. And for this one, it's really just practice practice practice. Notice also how our grandmothers are so pro at traditional Malay cooking, but when they try a new recipe for the first time they still make it so good anyway? It's the confidence and intuition that you get after being friends with ingredients for awhile. (Also, a little bit of msg goes a long way, I must say. And it seems much of the concern about msg is anecdotal and scientifically, salt has a lower lethal dose compared to msg. But I know right, it's so customary to feel like "Euw msg....")

6. Before, I couldn't understand economics and politics and public policies, or anything 'practical'.

--> I think I was impressed early on by reading numberous Anne of Green Gables books that practical stuff were horrible, and whimsical dreaming was what made a person lovable. Plus Anne got Gilbert, so there is something to be said about the attractiveness of a daydreaming woman. Besides, aren't politics, economics and law things men should be concerned about? And they are so complicated with so much jargon! Intervarsity debate changed all this. It's all about breaking down an issue be it political, economical or legal into smaller components featuring the stakeholders, the causes and the effects. And once you grasp the main concepts, the jargon also just comes to you because they won't just be letters in an acronym, each word in the acronym has a meaning linked to the heart of the issue. I haven't debated competitively in a long time, but whenever I read a news article about a new merger, or a new economic policy, or anything 'practical' really, I automatically decipher the subtext to see what the article is really telling me: what led to this happening? who benefits and who loses? what can this lead to? Because in the end, when all the jargon is scraped off, everything is about the people.

So what next? Lots!

I still can't:

-Swim
-Play poker very well (I refuse to bet. I hate losing 'money' even if it's just pennies or matchsticks)
-Fix things. I am better than I was before, in that I understand how things fit more, but it's still not enough that I can repair a broken pipe.
-Do a handstand.

(I know some people would say: hey you should add driving to your list! But I did learn to drive, and I could drive, and I did drive for awhile. But I hate it, and I don't want to do it. And yes it is partly fear. And no, I won't change my mind and you can't make me.)

From Tuesday to Tuesday

2012-01-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

Two Tuesdays ago, I asked Kye if she wanted to do a little photo project with me so that I can remember a little more about the things that I do from day to day. Also, to give me something to do from day to day. So I told her, lets just take pictures of anything. And so we did. Kye already posted her pictures up here (if you haven't seen them already). I'm a bit late (when am I not?) but here's mine.

From top left:

1. Yes, that is the length of my hair now after that disastrous haircut last OCTOBER. As I've mentioned before, that's what you get when you go to Edward Scissorhand's inebriated MALAY cousin. If you're going to say that it doesn't look that bad. I'm gonna say, well yeah...that's after I've done a little chop chopping myself. Also, if I'm gonna put up a picture for all to see, you're gonna bet that I picked the right picture. PS- those headphones may not be as stylish as Dr. Dre's Beats but dude, they're awesome although ill-fitting. If not I wouldn't have stolen them from my brother.

2. This is the part of my bookshelf that holds the books that I have yet to read. Sometimes I just stand there, trying to decide which to deflower. More often than not, I just stare at that woman on the cover of Revolutionary Road because her lipstick is so red. I have yet to select a new book to read.

3. My favourite piece from Soapsudsy's last update. It couldn't have gone to a better person!

4. Ominous date, ominous cat.

5. For the life of me I can't remember what I did that Saturday but I'm gonna go ahead and bet my soul on this picture symbolizing that forgotten day. A turtle on its back.

6. Fantastic Mr. Fox viewing party!

7. Twas the day I discovered Slacker Cats and spent the next 2 days LOLing over it.

8. Opened up my wardrobe to find her keeping my clothes warm and toasty. And you bet your ass she gave me attitude.

"What? Oh, ME is not allowed to sleep HEEEEEERE?"

international call

2012-01-20T09:06:00.005+08:00

Toot Toot... Toot Toot...

Me: Hello?
Park: Hello. May I speak to Mr or Miss N?
Me: Yes, speaking. Who's on the line?
Park: Oh yes Miss N. I am Park from Korea.
(Korea? Ohenosayo!!! Oh I love Running Man! And Family Outing too! Can you tell Hyori that I think she's fricking hot?)
Park: I am calling regarding the documents that you have emailed. I sent you four. I only received one!
Me: Really? Let me check my email first. Could you please hold on?
*checking*
Me: Mr Park, my email showed that you have received all the documents. I even sent it to your counterpart in Malaysia and your colleagues in Korea.
Park: Buth I did not receive all.
Me: It's alright, I can re-send it to you.
*emailing*
Me: Done!
Park: One more thing, can we extend the date for all the documents? We have discussed about this in the meeting yesterdayy.
Me: Umm err that's not my call Mr Park. You have to speak to Mr Y.
Park: No no no. I have emailed Mr Y yesterday.
Me: Ok, has he come back to you?
Park: Oh yes! I have come back and I have arrived safely in Korea!
(........)
(Huh?)
(........)
Me: I'm glad you have arrived in Korea safely Mr Park. Have you received any reply from Mr Y?
Park: No no. So can we get the extension?
Me: Umm well, I'm sorry but you have to wait for Mr Y. I will ask him to expedite the matter for you.
Park: Thank q Miss N.
Me: You're welcome Mr Park.

the BFF QUIZ

2012-01-18T10:22:00.000+08:00

So Shaz and I made a BFF QUIZ. And we think it's pretty awesome. Here it is!

Your BFF's

1. favorite color?
2. top three books he/she loves and would save if a raging fire were to consume his/her present library
3. string of lovers through the ages? (real and imagined)
4. biggest animal or insect phobia?
5. five crushes he/she once had (on regular people)
6. dream job at the age of 16
7. her/his favorite piece of clothing to sleep in?
8. favorite language to learn or listen to?
9. three bands of choice in his/her dream concert?
10. favorite physical feature about his/her self?
11. Least favorite physical feature about his/her self?
12. Favorite feature about the opposite sex?
13. Chinese zodiac sign?
14. Western zodiac sign?
15. Favorite ice cream flavour
16. Top 3 movies that they’d want with them if stranded on a deserted island
17. Movie that they hated

Your BFF likes/dislikes/neutral on

18. pickles?
19. hot/spicy food?
20. cats?
21. soda?
22. bungee jumping?
23. Lady Gaga?
24. Michael Jackson?
25. hairy men?
26. mixed-marriages?
27. reality tv?
28. arranged marriages?
29. plastic surgery?
30. Polygamy?

Your BFF has

31. how many siblings?
32. a mother and father named?
33. how many pets in history (alive or deceased)?
34. what childhood illness if any?
35. how many and what kinds of present allergies?
36. Won a prize on the radio?
37. Won a lucky draw prize?
38. Eaten insects?

Would your BFF rather

39. have hair on their gums or palms?
40. be extremely beautiful but not very intelligent or be very intelligent but plain looking?
41. give birth to a snake or a fish?
42. a zit on the forehead or on the nose?
43. wear contacts or glasses?
44. have a cat or a dog?
45. Have the gift of flight or time-travel?
46. Have great sex with a dumb man or great conversation without sexual satisfaction for the rest of their lives?
47. Live in the desert or Antarctica?

Does your BFF believe

48. in the supernatural?
49. that aliens exist?
50. in democracy or socialism?
51. the European Union works?
52. the moon landing happened?
53. that it is better to "forgive and forget", or "forget but don't forgive", or "forgive but don't forget" ?
54. in love at first sight?
55. in destiny or free-will?
56. in evolution?

Can you recount any of the following experiences for your BFF:

57. an embarrassing incident?
58. a hairstyle disaster?
59. a near-death experience?
60. his/her happiest moment?

and if you want one of your own:

BFF Quiz

From Tuesday to Tuesday

2012-01-18T09:23:00.002+08:00

so things do happen in between.

and since Fifer has, by precedent, shown it is acceptable to explain the pictures with a thousand words (:P) I shall shed light on the mystery of my photo week:

Jan 10
No it isn't Alf. Tis the kitten from the drain, Tubby sleeping on Tasnim's lap. Innocent, yes, when she is knocked unconscious by a plate of kitty food and the bustle of activity that is chasing peoples' feet. A vicious predator at any other time.

Jan 11
A bench at KTM komuter with, by golly me, the words KTM komuter on it. I never realized this in all my years of riding the KTM. It's one of those things that delight me about a place, when you see something about it that screams IDENTITY! For example, the cover of a manhole or a sewage drain with the name of the city on it. Or in this case. The name KTM Komuter on the bench.

Jan 12
Dramatic isn't it? Yes, that is my sister's solution to the many wounds she suffered from the war. Against a kitten.

Jan 13
And this is said kitten. After the war.

Jan 14
I never noticed how many formations of karat there were on my father in laws van. I thought it deserved homage.

Jan 15
My poor mother, being a Swiss army knife version of a teacher (like many in this country) is also a Reading club teacher (or something) on top being a taekwondo, pandu puteri, pusat sumber, and English teacher as well. And to help her prepare for a Reading club day of sorts at her school, Tasnim and I spruced up otherwise boring though brilliant green balloons to be released out of a box at the launching ceremony. We got bored of drawing worms reading books and happy faces reading books so Tasnim started drawing the less orthodox types of Readers to cultivate reading amongs the youth. Of course mother, though pleased with the graphics themselves, was not very happy that the heinous misspellings "Reading iz amajing" were on the balloons.

Jan 16
Clearly nothing happens on this day. So I had to take a picture of my wristrest with my headband twisted into the shape of a red ribbon on its head. Ah yes, I suppose this picture does convey something that happened on this day: I was at the laptop all day.

Jan 17
And the finale for the week! Iza's oily hand after she ravaged a bowl of sup ekor (without washing her hand first. tsk tsk).

The things I get to see

2012-01-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

I entered my car today and found this lying on the floor of the front passenger seat:-

and I was thinking to myself...Why is there an unripe papaya in my sweet sweet ride? I know, I know, my car has not been the neatest car in the past couple of poor years that I've had but never once did I decide to litter it with a baby papaya.

Naturally, there could only be one logical explanation- the elves must have left it there on their way back to the nearest rainbow after their night off frolicking in the human realm drinking microbrews (they're hipster elves) and stealing the souls of homeless puppies. As they were taking the so-called short cut to The Pot of Gold (the entrance to the Rainbow Highway) which is indeed not far from where I dwell, they drunkenly decided to steal a premature tropical fruit to bring back for their wives to cook. But then along the way they got tired because their bag of puppy souls got heavier and heavier as their bodies started to weaken from alcohol and the fatigue of travel. So one of them, let's call him Elvis, made the decision to store it away for awhile until their next trip back to the people world. This is because they're quite sensitive to light and if they did not return asap, the sun would rise and they would then be able to see each others' warts (which will grow when exposed to sunlight thus making the scene even more traumatizing to witness) and they didn't want the horror of such a sight. Elvis was especially frightened of this because not only did he have warts, he had genital warts. I know what you're thinking, how can they be sensitive to sunlight but ride on rainbows? You need sunlight to make a rainbow. The answer to that is rather simple, nothing looks ugly on a rainbow. I'm also aware of the other question that you have in your mind, elves ride rainbows? Do you mean leprecauns? To answer that briefly, they're related thus they use the same route to get from their world to ours. OK? Anyway, back to the tale, as they were searching for a suitable place to stash their fine catch, they spotted my car and found it to be the most ideal of places next to the lonely abandoned slipper because that's the last place any weasel would look to swipe it. Little did they know that weasels are not native to Malaysia.

If that's not the truth of how that papaya got in there, I don't know what is. But my second best guess is that my mom picked it up from her friend's house. But I wouldn't bet any one of Ursula's fat black tentacles on that.

Later in the same day, while I was strolling around the aisles of the supermarket, I found this "toy" at the kid's section.

I know what you're thinking.

I thought so too.

I'd have taken a clearer picture but I was afraid everyone would know what I was doing.

(What was I doing?)

The erect banana-like thing had a face and "happy" written inside a heart on its body.

Could it get any better?

To be fair, it was one of those ring catcher things except this one was missing its rings. I don't think they intended it to be that phallic. I'm sure some kids stole his rings thus exposing him in such a manner. But at least, he can still smile and be happy despite his lost and humiliation. We can learn something from this people. I'm not quite sure what... but I'm sure there's a meaning to this discovery.

And that was my day.

you are yummy

2012-01-11T11:57:00.000+08:00

ooh eric bana(na)

It's still early enough in the year

2012-01-10T10:11:00.000+08:00

So I think I will reflect on the past year. (I'm having trouble getting used to thinking the past year as 2011, instead of 2010; the common transition syndrome.)

I remember writing some whiny snot nosed post about not getting things I want, or something to that affect. Actually it was a list of things I did want, and in my pessismistic state, the disbelief that I would actually get them. (But I've always believed that writing down things I want make them more likely to happen)

In one of the blogs that I surreptitiously read (i.e. someone I don't know, but I just quietly check up on to see how she's doing) I read with surprise that she viewed 2011 as her year of depression. Why it surprised me was not because I did not read her posts throughout 2011-- but that I did! And I can't remember one post that would stir the suspicion that she might be going through rough times. There was a sad post about an acquaintance who passed away; but people pass away and people around them move on-- that's how life is.

So apparently, this person has been blogging only about the happier times of 2011, and only at the end did she make it clear that 2011 had taught her many things and she was letting go of a depressing year.

How does that make me feel? It makes me feel like a downright whiner!

I think I already blogged about 2011 being a sucky year.
Objectively, 2011 certainly has it's ups and downs for me. I don't know if I've suddenly transformed into a person who constantly feels entitled to great things, because my tolerance for bad things has been sharply dulled (note the purposeful oxymoron).

I notice ~~this~~ last year I had ~~have~~ a whacked up sense of time. Something I did the week before feels like it was done the year before. And every week I find myself on a Tuesday. What happened to all those days in between the Tuesdays? Sometimes its a Friday. But there's definitely a lack of continuity in the week. The only thing continuous in my present life is I fall asleep, then I wake up.

Perhaps I'm used to being more occupied with my time. But it's not like I'm doing absolutely nothing these past months. I've been working part time and traveling a little bit. And while I value the flexibility of working from home (because it gives me the leisure to travel a little bit); knowing you're not expected to be somewhere in particular to meet certain people in particular makes you feel like you're half a person. Also, I don't do well in limbo. Who does? Maybe Steve Jobs. He'd make a brand new multimillion dollar company if he's in limbo. Rest in peace Steve.

Anyway, the limbo is supposed to be nearing an end soon. But now, gasp, I'm wondering if I can cope with living like a normal human being again! And being away from Ikram for longer than 4 days a week. :( Ahhh! There it is! THE WHINE!!!!

2012: I promise you, this year there will be no more whines on the blog.

We're as old as we feel

2012-01-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

A dear friend blurted out the obvious yesterday : We're gonna be 27 this year!

Yeah that number looks kinda old (if you were born before 1985 and reading this, sorry).

It does make you kinda shudder. So much to do so little time! Is this as good as it gets? Have we reached (or passed) our prime?

Some friends are married. Some are pregnant. Some are moms.

I admit, at times I feel like I should perhaps soon be a wife, pregnant or a mom. But that's just peer pressure.

I don't REALLY want to be married (yet). I'm not REALLY ready for a baby etc etc.

I suppose it's also the after effect of coming back from Bali. I get the same feeling each time I come back from a holiday. You just want more. So much still to see and do in this very big world. People to meet, places to see. And I'm like a little fat greedy kid in a candy store. I still want more. More more more. I want to take take take! I want whatever more the world has to offer For Me. FOR IZA and ONLY FOR IZA. It sounds horrible. I just want to take and not give! But I'm sure you all understand what I mean. Not ready to give. And there's alot of giving involved when you decide to commit to a man or a child.

Yes I'm turning 27 this year. But as Remie says, "Iza you're a late bloomer in everything". I guess that means I got a few years to go before I really turn 27 :).

January 6, 1984

2012-01-06T09:55:00.000+08:00

I lost something precious. It may be lost and gone forever. And I cried myself to sleep last night.

My mother tried to make me feel better by offering her own precious thing to replace mine, then suggested that she might find it while sweeping one of these days. (I myself do not sweep, you see)

It makes me want to buy my mother a smartphone. So I think I will. And the occasion can be her 28th wedding anniversary.

Not a picture of a roasted bat

2012-01-04T15:32:00.000+08:00

I haven't shared in a loooong time.

So here's some oversharing.

Walked into my ~~pigsty~~ room, and found this Dark Knight of the Folded Laundry snoozing in bliss.

Now I know how others can benefit from my A cups.

the last new year's post I wrote was rather a drag

2012-01-01T14:54:00.000+08:00

January 1st, 2009 -- a rant about the unfairness of life on earth towards some.

No new year's post in 2010 or 2011.

And now, hola 2012! I greet you with a sore throat, a runny nose, continuous sneezing and a slight fever.

Time for Dumb and Dumber at home with les siesters.

May Allah bless you all with more productivity and contentment.

Muah muah!

just plain distasteful

2011-12-31T19:53:00.002+08:00

saw this when i went back to my rented house. was told the landlord put this up without informing any one of the tenants.

2011-12-29T09:37:00.002+08:00

Awkward Holiday Photos

Hohoho. These are quite hilarious.

8 glasses of water = 1.9 litre

2011-12-28T12:03:00.006+08:00

I am not 115lb anymore and I don't exercise, at all.

Trust

2011-12-28T10:05:00.000+08:00

In a social context, trust has several connotations.[1] Definitions of trust[2][3] typically refer to a situation characterised by the following aspects: One party (trustor) is willing to rely on the actions of another party (trustee); the situation is directed to the future. In addition, the trustor (voluntarily or forcedly) abandons control over the actions performed by the trustee. As a consequence, the trustor is uncertain about the outcome of the other's actions; he can only develop and evaluate expectations. The uncertainty involves the risk of failure or harm to the trustor if the trustee will not behave as desired.

In sociology and psychology the degree to which one party trusts another is a measure of belief in the honesty, fairness, or benevolence of another party. The term "confidence" is more appropriate for a belief in the competence of the other party. Based on the most recent research[citation needed], a failure in trust may be forgiven more easily if it is interpreted as a failure of competence rather than a lack of benevolence or honesty.

Source: Wikipedia

Honesty
Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft. (is withholding the truth = lying?)

kindness |ˈkīn(d)nis|
The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. (such as not calling each other horrible names? giving what the other person wants?)

---

I find when I am confused about how I feel and what to do about them, I try to deconstruct the feelings. The first step is defining and contextualizing them. Wikipedia is good for that.

vincent is an assassin, not a grammar teacher

2011-12-21T09:08:00.004+08:00

a certain someone told me i should make amendments to my recent post for its title (or any grammatical error for that matter)... aint gonna do that :p

this is an update from my recent post though. well, i called the vet to call off the operation. yes people, revenge is not looking so sweet now since there is none! anyway, the vet was not going to proceed with the operation either, because lucifer was not well. nvm the pus, lucifer has other major health issue - the vet suspects that lucifer has virus in his nerves system. i forgot to mention earlier that when lucifer walked, he had this swaying swagger. he also seemed a bit disoriented. i thought that it was from a wounded hind leg and other bruises but i was wrong. the vet said that even after 2 days at the clinic, lucifer still had the symptoms. she was not sure what was wrong with lucifer and suggested a blood test.

i told my mom about it before she went to pick him up from the vet. but my mom said "not our cat, not our problem. let the owner take care of it." and of course lah, even after being informed that her cat was sick, cheap neighbour did not do anything except took the cat back from my mom. no questions like "what should i do? where is this vet so i can send him for a blood test?" NONE. nvm the vet bill that I had to pay, but cheap neighbour did not even seem to be concerned about lucifer's condition! she's not doing any damn thing about her cat!

to be honest guys, i sort of expected that from her because she IS cheap neighbour. lucifer is just one of her many breeding machines that will be shipped out once it's no longer indispensable. but some teenee tiny spot in my heart had hoped otherwise. plus i don't want evil disoriented kittens to be running around the neighbourhood. that'd be scary. but right now all i can do is sit, watch and wait what's going to happen next.

here's hoping for a better year for lucifer, i mean the cat :p Happy New Year all! :)

laws taken at own hand

2011-12-18T20:40:00.010+08:00

The charge

Causing grievous hurt

The accused

Unnamed next door cat. Look at those evil green eyes.

The victim

Resting post doctor's visit - consoled by own kitten.

The evidence

Major puncture on left wrist due to deep biting.

Cuts and punctures on left hand due to biting AND scratching.

Closer look.

More scratches.

The verdict

Guilty as h*ll!!!

The punishment

Revenge is sweet!! Muahaha!!

Collector's syndrome and the quest for completion

2011-12-14T10:34:00.000+08:00

After some time of not visiting Xcess Bookstore at Amcorp, I found two treasures: Calvin and Hobbes 10th Anniversary Book by Bill Waterson and The Far Side Gallery by Gary Larson.

I opened the translucent tight wrapping, ripped off the price tag and removed all signs of evident
'newness' of the books soon to replace them with signs of 'Kyeness'. It's one of my favorite parts of buying a brand new book. It comes only second to putting the book with its new family members, the collection of older books I already have on the shelf. Presently I don't have a shelf, I only have an unopen box next to many unopen boxes, because I am still in the state of transition only the transition is taking awhile, but that is a sigh for another day. And certainly, adding a book into an open box is not at all the same as firmly sliding a book on a shelf so right now, ripping off the plastic or taking off the sticker is my favorite part of buying a brand new book.

I flipped open the first page of Calvin and Hobbes and looked through the list of other books available by the same author. Immediately, I sought to find the other books that I believe I already owned, just so that I can reunite the members of my collection, even if briefly. I realized that I have The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes, The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes, and I'm pretty sure I have The Essential Calvin and Hobbes (though I don't know where it is right now) but I definitely don't have Calvin and Hobbes Lazy Sunday Book. The 10th Anniversary Book isn't actually part of the list of treasury books-- it is more like the edition with commentary. This is cool in itself, but now goes into my collection of 'other Calvin and Hobbes books', which is populated by the likes of Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat (which I actually gave to Hafiz, but maybe I want to weasel it back if he forgot it was a gift.), Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons, and The Days are Just Packed-- a collection that is even further from completion.

One book short! One book short of a complete Calvin and Hobbes treasury collection!
Alas.

she pulled the iza stunt!

2011-12-13T21:29:00.002+08:00

2:07!

Sarah: How's this for a running-related story

2011-12-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

After a long time failing to get Ikram to go running with him, I finally succeeded this morning! Hurrah!

All was well, he even actually tried to keep up with my pace except towards the end after we crossed the bridge and passed the football field. But I was in the zone and continued ahead of him. Besides, he has this habit of slowing down and then suddenly accelerating so that he could pass me still after being left so far behind.

And sure enough, I heard very heavy footsteps behind me, at a very frightening pace. I glanced behind quickly, saw that he had rolled up his pants above his ankles, and thinking that he means business! I quickened my own pace. Finally it seemed like he had caught up to me I turned around and smiled-- only to find that it was someone else! Embarrassed, I said sorry and quickly faced forward.

The dude said something like "Penat ke?" But I ignored him and ran back to my husband--Who I later found out was watching the whole thing from behind. He then explained to me that the dude had actually ran out of his football game to run after me and only realized I was with someone when he also turned back. He then ran back to the field and supposedly his friends tried to cover it up by asking him if he had 'bought the drinks'

This is the first time anyone's tried to hit on me so bravely while my husband was watching. He said that the dude is lucky that he's not the type to go off into a flying rage because if there's "one rule in this lawless world it's that you shouldn't mess with another man's wife".

And I said, "The guy probably didn't know since everyone always thinks you're my boyfriend."
And Ikram said in this rather chilling (and also ironically, very hot) way "Too bad."

And my own thoughts: The sweats that launched a thousand ships? Ohohoho.

Sorry, just enjoying it for a moment.

stomping feet (and fists) down

2011-12-09T18:41:00.002+08:00

sometimes enough is enough. you have to say "NO" even if it may make you look unprofessional or disobedient.

i'd choose life over frikkin work. anyday.

"Sabr Wins the Race"

2011-12-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

Brothers and sisters, the road from College Park to Al-Huda, PA is far. Really far. 110+ miles.

Insha’Allah, by 10am this Friday December 9, 2011 we must meet Principal Sr Sadia Rafeeq and her PreK-3rd Grade students and staff at the finish line in Camp Hill, PA. Then we must continue to Masjid as-Sabireen in Harrisburg, PA for a noon jumuah with Br Safi, and then on to another masjid and jumuah by 1:30pm. No rest til after we combine maghrib/isha.

Then ride it all back again, only farther: 125+ more miles, along a railroad, through the heart of Baltimore, to meet 500+ PreK-12th Grade students, staff and families for the finish at Al-Huda in College Park, MD. Insha’Allah.

To make it that far on time means to ride all night, when it’s cold, pitch black and creepy. Who will wake that night to know what we’re doing? Who will come out to see? I’d just watch the video myself but I have to ride the bike.

So when we say insha’Allah it’s not because we’re leaving ourselves an excuse, it’s because we pray Allah helps us fulfill our obligation. We promised, and that’s that.

Teachers and parents, each of you promise children and families and students that you will do what it takes to care for them: to stay up late washing/mending uniforms, to prepare meals and lesson plans, to check homework early in the morning and late into the night, to work 2 and even 3 jobs just to make tuition while you juggle utility bills and expenses and even your own schoolwork…and you do it all in the dark or in crowds of busy people, in traffic, in the heat and cold, where few see your sacrifice beside Allah. And students, has anyone ever thanked you for working so hard just to grow up?

I say, what you do every day is harder than this bike ride. My own family might worry more about me than I should worry about the long road away and back to them. I’m just as impatient and unprepared and afraid of failure as some of you, but in spite of that I’m also arrogant enough to believe I can finish and crazy enough to start, masha’Allah. That’s parenting in a nutshell, and most of you do the same each day for your own children. I say, that’s the real work and we do it for love. No matter how hard.

If folks ask us to quit this ride, or to make it easier and more comfortable, or to wait for a bigger payoff, maybe they have a point. Yet maybe, if this ride is like a stone that blocks a trench in battle, we need only to apply what Faith we have to achieve great opportunity.

Allah never quits. Rasulullah (SAW) never quit. Neither will we insha’Allah. THAT is the sabr that shall win this race.

From Sabr Wins the Race

OMG 123

2011-12-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

I was reading people's twitter things and a brief thought, nay a temporary insanity induced by a silent stroke-like brain spasm, made me think, "Hmmm what if I had a twitter account?"

No Kye. You would not do any better than other people at twittering, regardless of how witty you might think yourself or how amusing you might find the meracauing kitten sleeping on your thigh.

"Kitten just had a nightmare. Awww."

-_-

Twittering is for birds. And I ain't no avian.

go easy on the

2011-12-03T08:11:00.002+08:00

it tires me to read too many "the" in one sentence/paragraph

It's hard to be objective

2011-12-02T10:19:00.000+08:00

Especially when you are evaluating yourself. I was trying to figure out whether I am, if weighed on a scale, good or bad. Say if there was a cut off line, a threshold, where my collection of pros and cons listed down side by side on paper would result into my being kept or chucked by whoever was listing it.

I think a definite pro is that I am easy to please. The trick is to know what I like. And I do like simple things. I like funny things. I like being made to chuckle or laugh. Truth be told, I hold it a bit against you if I don't find you funny. I find you funny or I find you boring. Because interesting people are almost always funny. Of course I try to be charitable. And I am almost always respectful to elderly. Unless the elderly person is a complete jackass. I like good, not necessarily expensive, food. I do love sushi, that happens to be expensive. But other than that I'm pretty cheap. My favorite taufoofah is still the 70-cents-a-bowl taufoofah sold at Pasar Majmuk in Kuantan. This relates to a second pro about me.

I'm pretty thrifty. You can see my work on a session of grocery shopping. I've learned from my grandmother that there's no cutting money for value (I copy down recipes from her where she lists down ingredients by brand, e.g. secawan Buttercup, dua cawan Tepung Cap Sauh). I will buy the more expensive thing if I know it has better quality. But if I can't tell or don't care either way, I will take the cheapest version of the thing. I'm not a spendthrift, I don't list shopping as a hobby. I buy what I need on sale. The last article I bought myself that wasn't food was a pair of socks last month. In fact if I went on a Treat Yo Self day, I would likely do a Ben Wyatt and buy bras. (But I'd rather buy an expensive videocamera than a Batman costume. Did I not tell you once I wanted to be a Film Director?)

I have a good sense of humor-- I've been known to make people laugh. I like to point out the comedy in situations wittily and maybe my timing isn't so bad. That's what makes a funny a funny right?

Ok I'm out of pros for now. But let's see some cons.

The flipside of being easy to please is that I am also easy to hurt, easy to disappoint. I think it was Margaret Atwood who penned the phrase "easy to please, difficult to protect". A harsh word said in the wrong tone will have me offended for days. A romantic gesture unresponded will make me want to cry. Being ignored makes it hard for me to think about anything else. But I won't tell you about it, I usually try to nurse my own wounds. But of course, things keep piling up until suddenly I get super emo and confrontational about a trigger. That relates to another con.

I am passive aggressive. Trust me, this trait annoys me the most. I wish I could just be one of those people who are calm and forgiving or furious and shouting. If I could actually have my wish come true, I'd rather be the former than the latter. I think. But you might call the extreme of that being a pushover who never gets anything. And bitches tend to get their way. I want to be sweet and also get my way. Cannot ke? So I guess I will be calm, but not forgiving. Furious, but mumbling words. And every now and then I will send the cold reprimanding text when I feel safe enough to do so.

Or maybe I'd just like to not be hurt. And to give myself credit, (we're switching gears back to pros) I am a reasonable person. If it's something that can't be helped, I can suck it up. Of course, a little grace goes a long way. Don't tell me "my leave was rejected, but oh well, it's a bad time to go to Thailand anyway." Say "sorry, my leave was rejected-- I know you were looking forward to going, we'll try to go another time." I've been gracious about missed airport send offs because of work, because I knew you were sorry about it too. I think twice about asking to go out, because I know you're tired. But don't be double standard about it. Don't be too tired to go out with me and make everything you do with me sound like a bloody chore, but not too tired to run around running errands late at night with your friend. I can't be reasonable about that. I refuse. And that relates back to another con.

I am stubborn. Hard-headed. That also makes me a rigid planner (but to be fair, I don't know anyone who takes plan changes very well after THEY did all the planning. It just so happens that people like to let me do all the thinking, but then say I am a rigid planner when all my planning goes to shit.)And when I know I'm right, I will defend that. I will not change just because people tell me I should or because that's what is expected. I can be respectful and I can try to act a bit. I will only change if I believe it is a justified change. (and preferably, on my own initiative and not after being lectured.)

Finally, another main con is that I am selfish. My first priority is myself. No one else is looking out after me, other than my mother probably. And we've definitely had conflicting opinions over what is best for me so I've realized I am my own keeper. I will try my best not to transgress another party's rights in my quest to protect my own, but if a choice had to be made I defend my own.

So that is that. I don't know if any of the above is objective at all. I don't know if I'm good or bad. If I'm worth keeping or easier chucked. Time will tell. Maybe it's not even an issue of good or bad. Maybe I am who you make me.

berlagak sikit, maaf Tasnim.

2011-12-01T19:21:00.001+08:00

airwolf time!

picture 2 has been removed upon protest.

I'm thinking that 2011 is a sucky year

2011-11-24T16:29:00.001+08:00

But I want to be more objective in my statements. Plus I am pms-ing so a lot of things are bothering me.

Good things that happened this year:
I got my Master's.
I got to go to Japan for the first time.
I got accepted for a scholarship to do a PhD in National University of Singapore.
I got my first first author publication in International Journal of Health and Geographics. (update: I've been told it's labeled a Highly Accessed article now and has had 960 downloads so far!)
I won a Macbook pro.

Not so good things that happened this year:
I had to leave the US for good.
Atan Rambo passed away.
I didn't get to do my proper honeymoon in Europe.
I didn't get to do my alternate proper honeymoon in Bangkok.
I realized I didn't want to do a PhD in National University of Singapore, so I left and declined the scholarship.
I haven't gotten my other publications published yet. And one manuscript actually needs a pretty big overhaul in light of new arising issues. *sigh*

Jury is still out on these things:
I (finally) got an offer to do PhD at Monash University, but don't know if I'll get scholarship to do it yet. Time will tell.
Ikram and I are buying an apartment, but it's a dodgy one and is taking forever to process and I'm starting to feel like I wish I just spent my money on something else. Like a trip somewhere. But I dunno maybe it'll be a good investment in the future, even if it won't be a home. Time will tell.
My part time job writing stuff for my supervisor. Hopefully it's good work at the end, but I feel so out of it most days.

---
So that's 6 not so good things versus 5 good things. I guess 2011, by a narrow shave, is rather a sucky year. Or maybe I'm just a ridiculously spoiled brat.

life worth

2011-11-22T16:30:00.003+08:00

how much do you think your life is worth?

i was having lunch today at this kedai and helped myself with cencaluk. after i was done eating, there was some cencaluk leftover in my plate. i toyed with it while talking to my boss and colleagues until i spotted a piece of GLASS in it. my boss quickly called the waitress and told her about it and jokingly said "this table should be on the house" and the waitress replied "of course". when we were leaving we went to the counter and my boss put his and my bill on the table and told the cashier "u promised that we didn't have to pay." his bill was RM6.30 while mine was RM5.80. the cashier which happened to be the same person who took away my plate didn't reply to that. instead she smiled and said "abang enam ringgit tiga puluh sen." "adik lima ringgit" obviously pointing to me.

and get this guys - i PAID. oh my god i know fifer and iza are going to scream at me!

there's something about me when i'm blur - i don't fight for myself. i remember even paying for the food at pappa rich bangi though i found a fly in it, stopped eating and told the manager about it.

so there u go. my life worths only 80 cents. that's pretty... bad.

Remember this:

2011-11-11T17:10:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long
In the end, it's only with yourself

2011-11-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

Me: *Flips through a book called "Alpha Male"* This looks boring.
Tasnim: It is boring. It's Afifa's.
Me: *snort*
Tasnim: I think it would've been okay, but after I read all your books this kinda book is boring now.
Me: *cheshire grin*

(Who says kids can't be taught?)

so bizarre oh bizarre how bizarre

2011-11-04T21:22:00.001+08:00

I just read some tweets by Julian Casablancas on his twitter account. And I'm like "Man, six years ago I wanted to marry you so badly! Sooooo badly!" and here I am reading your tweets and the only thing that I'm thinking is "Julian Casablancas spells thanks thanx."

Macam. Tak berapa hot.

post note

2011-11-04T16:25:00.005+08:00

I've always wanted to remind myself of my first day at work:

When you were at ACA, you came on time so that's good given that you were not a morning person. You were then introduced to everyone (well not everyone but those who were at the office at that time). And you had a tour. Later on you were asked to wait in the meeting room which would be the room that you shared with six others for the next two weeks. You didn't have breakfast because you didn't take breakfast. You went to the cafe to get lunch with the other six newbies. You didn't do much the whole day save for reading the summary version of ACA Act. You went back when the clock struck 5.

When you were at NMB, you came late. Very late. Heck you came at 11! But it wasn't your fault - you were stuck in a massive traffic bottle neck bumper to bumper jam near Putra Heights Elite highway where a lorry flipped over. You were stuck for more than 2 hours. Later you were again stranded in another jam - this time near Teluk Gong where JKR decided to carry out roadworks during a peak-hour working day. Smart. That took almost one hour of your lifetime. During lunchtime, since it was ramadhan, you couldn't go out to eat although you uzur syarie. So you lepak with Shima at HR until at exactly 1.30 she got a call from an intern saying that another intern kena rasuk. Scary (But it's Ramadhan??? I'm confused now). Throughout the whole day, you jalan-jalan and was introduced to HODs (courtesy call). You went back when it was exactly 5.

newbie

2011-11-04T16:05:00.004+08:00

I didn’t exactly know what an in-house lawyer is until well, now. Basically, you do everything, from drafting to advisory to civil law as well as criminal (Yes! You don’t know how many drug addicts who had been misusing the premises or truck drivers who stole the goods). Add corporate secretarial to that too. It’s my other 30% portfolio (How do you quantify these things? I should get a raise for that shouldn’t I? Hello boss???)

When I was at the AG I only focused to one specific job scope and that was already tough. Oh court dates – how I do NOT miss you! Now, imagine if you have to put on at least seven caps at one time! But the good thing about this new job is my having to deal with human beings is kept at a minimum, which is great because I don’t have the best PR and I don’t really like dealing with people. You learn a lot and I mean A LOT. And you have to do it fast because corporate people, well they are not used to waiting (do I miss government service?) Sometimes I bitch about as to why should I do finance work or HR work etc etc. Yes I can say for sure that if ever the audit for ISO came in, we might just fail because we’re basically doing other people’s portfolio. Not good for management. It’s not helping either when my big boss is one accommodating man. But he’s friggin smart and friggin rajin and friggin nice and all these fabulous things that you want in a boss. It's rare that someone can awe me but he does. My point is, while I see the situation in a semi negative way like that, I must also say that by being him (the accommodating part that is) he’s in fact exposing me to the whole thing here. How certain procedure works, how certain people handle certain circumstance - which is actually a good thing. So I can conclude that my big boss is a trainer in disguise.

If anything that I miss about AG is mi familia there. Coming into my two months probation, I can say my co-workers here are pretty ok. Boleh masuk la. Of course tak se-best dulu but give it some time, I’m sure they have a lot more to offer. Speaking of that, I’m comfortable with my manager. Funny chap, very the un-manager type. He cracks jokes every ten seconds? Nice.

Moving on to my rumah sewa – I kinda like the fact that I am most of the time alone in the house because my housemates are ridiculously workaholics so I can have the whole house to myself!(Cut them some slack, baru keje setahun. I used to be like them so I is understanding!) So what do I do when I’m home? Well, I give justice to my 2009-Batu Feringghi-purchase DVDs. Love Burn Notice. LOVE. Catch up with books (God I haven’t read for sooo long, I miss reading!) I also polish my cooking skills which by the way hasn’t improved that much. In my defense, I cook like orang bujang on a budget + for one person + there is no one for me to impress or anyone to give that YUCK! face after tasting my food. I do a lot of grocery shopping too. Retail therapy does help you know when you’re away from well, basically everyone. And I miss my cats. Everyday. I always imagine if I could bring them over so that I’ll have company. And oh yeah, I do a lot of imagining when I'm home too. Is that scary?

What do I hate about my new job? Nothing. But I do hate the road condition. It’s a given kan, nothing I can do about it. Plus I don’t wake up in the middle of the night anymore, thinking “What should I ask tomorrow?” “What should I counter-ask tomorrow?” "What should I ask if the witness didn't answer what I want him/her to answer?" SO tiring! So yeah, I’m blessed.

We all — in the end — die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories

2011-11-03T07:29:00.001+08:00

Mona Simpson in her eulogy for Steve Jobs.

2011-11-01T20:27:00.002+08:00

Would that I could follow the insects to where they go when it's winter.

The graduation speech Chuck Palahniuk might give

2011-10-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my sister's high school graduation (shout out to my smart cookie sister Noor Afifa!) and I spent fifteen minutes on the phone complaining to Ikram about the speech given by the guest of honor, a Rector of a certain public university that won't be named, but uhh touts itself as the defender of bumiputeras.

It was just so.... typical Malaysian government-linked institution type speech. I.e. your run-of-the-mill brainwashing politically motivated speech highlighting successes (or rather, mediocrity) of the institution (we are ranked among the top 600 universities in the world!! our graduates have an employment rate of over 50%!!) and just very little actual substance or imagination and most sadly, very little inspiration.

I frankly thought those kids deserved a better speech. Maybe something like the kinda speech I heard at BTN two years ago, from the Lieutenant (or Colonel?) who really got through to me with his sincere love of the country, love for his people and family and friends (he showed pictures of him and his platoon when they were working quietly to defend the country in the confrontation), and his love of LIFE (the man SKYDIVES as a hobby) and his ability to communicate and inspire.

I told Ikram, I get it, not everyone can give speeches like that and not everyone is expected to. But you would hope that if you were speaking in front of a hall of impressionable young minds bursting with potential and hungering for the WORLD and all it offers, you would do better than just deliver a speech that befits a "Kata-kata aluan" of a badly printed booklet. You could at least try to relate to them and give them some thought, and speak to them as a person and not as a political figure or a representative of a machine.

Anyway. The speech wasn't all bad, there was one thing he said that I thought was pretty decent advice. But as I have implied, speech giving is likely not this man's forte so I have completely forgotten what it was he said.

But I do remember something that I thought was excellent advice (which I read in the Going Places magazine of all places), and here is Chuck Palahniuk to say it:

My embarassing admission is...

2011-10-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

1) In truth I am not a nice person. Not generally. I will go the distance for you if I love you, but I can slam the door on someone asking for donations for handicapped children. (but fyi, Mr Do Gooder, you probably missed the memo that handicapped is now a derogatory term.)

2) I am also rather jealous. I don't mind that my husband still salivates over Rachel Weisz (as long as he doesn't over do it), and I don't think "Bitch" when I see pictures of someone that has lost a lot of weight. But I DO automatically feel BAD when someone else has received something I want. And I have an impulse to show these people up-- especially when these people are people a) who I don't like b) who I don't like, but don't know why c) who I think don't deserve it.

Showing people up is rather hard to do when you are me, and don't have that much to show up WITH-- and I never was comfortable with blatant show upping offiness. What I do do (hehe dudu) is: covertly find and expose any hidden flaws behind the 'shiny' thing that I am jealous over (read:the purchase of a new house, the acceptance of a paper in a journal, the acceptance to a great famous grad school) -- and when I find the hidden flaw that I found after considerable semi-psychotic sleuthing, I will go Ahah! (the house is on tanah lombong! or the journal has no impact factor! the school is in the midwest!) I'm not so jealous anymore.

3) I have very poor cleaning skills. No this is not coy humility talking. This is a slow realization of something rather scary and awkward: I CAN'T CLEAN VERY WELL. I say many times over that I love washing dishes. But apparently I can't wash them very clean. Or at least the sink ALWAYS STILL looks gunky and gross when I'm done. Whereas mothers and others seem to clean them to a squeaky affect. I can't clean bathrooms very well, I can't sweep very well, I've given up completely on vacuuming. And dusting? What is that?

4)I have resorted to using ajinomoto in my cooking. A shred of me dies when I sprinkle a bit of the MSG into food (along with each follicle of hair that presumably dies along with the ingestion of the MSG molecules). But in my defense, I used to cook with barely any salt back when I was cooking for myself and Sarah only-- but these Malay people I live with and married are much harder to please. Also, it was because I learned that my grandmothers (on both sides, mother in law, aunt, neighbor, agent, and postman use ajinomoto in their cooking hence the lack of ajinomoto in my cooking makes it decidedly UNTASTY. And when people grumble over the food you cooked... It. Hurts.
As a humorous caveat though: I'm perfectly fine inhaling MSG by the buckets if it's through instant noodles or in restaurant food. It's the physical act of ME putting clear crystals that are not SALT or SUGAR that bothers me.

5)I don't really like kids. I know I used to say that before, when I think I thought I was doing a 'reverse psychology' with fate-- like saying I don't wanna get married, and I don't want kids because those are the things I actually want.
Now... I realize, barring my little sister (who isn't so little anymore), and a few special kids who seem to love me without my needing to bribe them, I really don't like kids.

6)I'm immature and selfish. And I have little remorse over this, and I don't feel the need to grow up and become selfless. In fact it is my opinion and fervent hope that people around me will become more selfless to accommodate my selfishness. I think this may tie in to numbers 1,2 and 5. But I definitely almost ALWAYS want to come up ahead in anything. Especially when fighting through a crowd to get into the KTM. Bear in mind, my sense of self-righteous 'well mannered and civic conscious' ness prevents me from whaling on people at the train's doorway, instead I stoicly try to hold back the crowd behind that are having the same whaling-impulse to allow others to exit. But really. It's only because their exit gives more space.

-end catharsis sorta-

Why I'm against surgery for very old people and very dying people

2011-10-07T13:13:00.000+08:00

“As clinicians, we often end up focusing on something narrow and small that we think we can fix,” Dr. Jha said. “That leads us down the path of surgical intervention. But what the patient cares about is not going to get fixed.”

Dr. Jha provided a recent example from his hospital. A man had metastatic pancreatic cancer and was dying. A month earlier, he had been working and looked fine.

“No one had talked to him about how close he was to death,” Dr. Jha said. “It’s the worst kind of conversation to have.”

Instead, doctors did an endoscopy and a colonoscopy because the man had internal bleeding. Then they did abdominal surgery. “We did all of this because we were trying desperately to find something we could fix,” Dr. Jha said.

The man died of a complication from the surgery.

“The tragedy is what we should have done for him but didn’t,” Dr. Jha said. “We should have given him time to have the conversation he wanted to have with his family. You can’t do that when you are in pain from surgery, groggy from anesthesia. We should have controlled his pain. We should have controlled his nausea.”

Instead, Dr. Jha said, “we sent him to the O.R.”

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/06/health/research/06medicare.html

Why try to change me now?

2011-10-02T10:21:00.000+08:00

Frank Sinatra sang it originally, and Fiona Apple did a beautiful cover with her beautiful voice (and I thought at first, I'd like to use this cover because I am a woman and it better voices out my woman self). But then I found this Cy Coleman version, and you know when you listen to a song with a smile on your lips and your eyes slightly shining with uhh maybe excess lacrimal fluid that you've found the song that's singing how you feel.

So this here is the Cy Coleman version.

--
I'm sentimental, so I walk in the rain
I've got some habits even I can't explain
Could start for the corner, turn up in Spain
But why try to change me now?

I sit and daydream, I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes, there they go on the floor
I'll go away weekends, leave my keys in the door
But why try to change me now?

Why can't I be more conventional?
People talk, people stare, so I try
But that's not for me, 'cause I can't see
My kind of crazy world go passing me by

So, let people wonder, let 'em laugh, let 'em frown
You know I'll love you till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember I was always your clown?
Why try to change me now?

If you're wondering about 'embarassing high school pictures'....

2011-10-02T09:52:00.000+08:00

1999

2010

....Just know that I have an album of them.

Love you then and now and always

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SUNSHINE

message for a Gem

2011-10-01T12:36:00.003+08:00

I know this amazing person. And she is my friend.

I know that people can have a biased opinion of a friend or a family member. It comes with familiarity. This is natural. It's like befriending a tyrant/diva/conman. They just seem not as bad when you're able to have coffee and talk about a book both of you have read. Likewise, once you've befriended someone your judgment might be clouded. You may think they're wonderful. But are they Really? Like really Really?

But rest assured, this amazing person I know really IS amazing. my judgment is not clouded because she's a dear friend of mine. or because she's known me since my series of unfortunate haircuts. nope. this is as objective as objective will get.

she's got a lot of depth. good depth. i mean a serial killer could have depth but it's the type that could get you killed right. so yeah, she's got good, wonderful depth. the type of depth any guy would be lucky to get to the bottom to should the opportunity ever present itself.

which brings me to my next point. if you have a Gem you better bloody treasure it. Because a gem She IS. and special. not your typical girl. of any race. or creed. simple rule. you don't alter a a diamond with a perfect cut. try to alter something perfect and you're a fucking idiot k. but then again what if you just don't bloody know what makes one piece of diamond more valuable than the other. I'm sure cave men didn't bloody know. so having an eye for "special" perhaps takes a special eye ey.

my message for this dear dear friend of mine. I love you. I've known you so long. You are one of a kind. Your flaws and strengths. I know them too. the amazing things you've achieved for yourself. my my. certainly not your average girl. So, Don't you ever let ANYONE make you feel like you need to change.

Nightmare with the big bad wolf...

2011-10-01T08:26:00.000+08:00

sale.

Yes it's true, I had a terrible dream and it was concentrated around the Big Bad Wolf Sale taking place October 7. In this dream, my uncle dropped me off at MAEPS after a morning out with him and his family. Fifer was in it, but I never saw her. I only knew she was there with Kutai but they had to leave at 3.30pm and there was so much anguish in her voice over the fact.

Eliza was in it too, but she was in the upstairs cool section. I had clamored up the steps only to fall of it and break my arm. After which I realized something had bitten my forearm and it swelled up to the size of a golfball! Then it slowly diminished but turned green. Yech. Either way, I wasn't crazy about the book selection upstairs.

I walked downstairs towards the basement where I knew the 1.5 million books awaited me. But I kept on taking the wrong staircase and ended up elsewhere-- for example one staircase I took led me outside of the building right in front of the Johns Hopkins Hospital.

Then I woke up.

Oh the horror!

(Now if I play my cards right and tell him this story Ikram will be taking me to this. Muahahahah.)

National Press Club Run, September 18*

2011-09-25T11:36:00.000+08:00

*The black & white indicates that this is a past memory.

quick question

2011-09-22T15:49:00.002+08:00

Which one is correct?

1) The tees are currently available at StarbucksStore.com and SELECT Nordstrom locations for a very pricey $85

OR

2) The tees are currently available at StarbucksStore.com and SELECTED Nordstrom locations for a very pricey $85

I saw no. 1 on a shine.yahoo article (which MUST have been edited/reviewed by yahoo editor before being published) but always thought no 2 was the correct sentence.

I've always made fun of our McDs fries packaging that says "only SELECT potato varieties make the cut". But now I'm confused - can yahoo be wrong? maybe I should post this one up on answer.yahoo. Hmm..

I know I've thought the same way she did before

2011-09-20T20:48:00.000+08:00

but where's my romance?

2011-09-15T11:11:00.000+08:00

Flying to and from Osaka marks the first time I got to see Ikram working in the flight deck. You know how statistically 95% of flight incidents occur during take off and landing? Well, I know for a fact now each time my husband is flying into KLIA it's a life threatening experience.

Stumbling out of the cockpit, I was met by Brendan-the-pilot-who-is-a-passenger and with a bright smile he asked me, "How was it?"

I struggled to reply. My brain was saying something like:
"Well...there were monstrous clouds surrounding the airport, the ATC was barking at everyone and ignored us after having us queued up as the next to land. Oh, a Thai Airways flew beside us for a good minute or two which made both the Captain and Ikram shouts some profanities for awhile. The ATC suddenly remembered us again and expected us to land immediately, forcing the plane to take a slight dive towards the runway. But all everyone will know about the landing was not how the KLIA ATC tried to kill us but how smooth it was because my husband is a damn good pilot."

But my mouth was saying, "Umm.."

Brendan still smiling, suggested, "Awesome right? Seeing your hubby fly the plane?"

I smiled back and said, "Yes."

They say things are more likely to come true if you write them down

2011-09-14T12:31:00.001+08:00

Or am I quoting something from The Secret? It's okay whatever. This is motivation. This IS the list of near-future plans/events to look forward to.

1. Receive offer from Monash to do PhD.
2. Obtain approval/scholarship from USM and MoHE to do PhD in Monash end of January 2012.
3. Settle purchase and move in to new apartment in Novembah! (okay even I know this one is far-fetched. maybe Decembah!)
4. Start buying furniture and putting up my framed posters on the wall *jumps up and down*
5. Throw our first house-warming/kenduri kesyukuran thingus so I can show off my nice wall art! *jumps up and down* (Get someone else to cook. Consider making apple pie and quiche. Oh and roti jala. Roti jala is fun.) Just realized 3-5 are pipe dreams and looking forward to them is unwise.
6. Travel to Bangkok & Chiang Mai in Decembah! Europe tahun depan je lah. House buying is expensive. Even for cheap dodgy apartments.
7. Move to Melbourne and begin PhD in Monash late January.
8. Travel to New Zealand and watch some whales in March. (okay I made this one up on the fly but it's cuz I am EXCITED.)

.... but in the meantime we wait. *sigh*

Nerds explained.

2011-09-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

"I am sorry if I make you feel bad sometimes," Randy says. "The family is full of scientists. Mathematicians. The least intelligent of us become engineers. Which is sort of what I am."

"Excuse me, did you just say you were one of the least intelligent?"

"Least focused, maybe."

"Hmmm."

"My point is that precision, and getting things right, in the mathematical sense, is the one thing we have going for us. Everyone has to have a way of getting ahead, right? Otherwise you end up working at McDonald's your whole life, or worse. Some are born rich. Some are born into a big family like yours. We make our way in the world by knowing that two plus two equals four, and sticking to our guns in a way that is kind of nerdy and that maybe hurts people's feelings sometimes. I'm sorry."

"Hurts whose feelings? People who think that two plus two equals five?"

"People who put a higher priority on social graces than on having every statement uttered in a conversation be literally true."

"Like, for example... female people?"

Randy grinds his teeth for about a mile, then says, "If there is any generalization at all that you can draw about how men think versus how women think, I believe it is that men can narrow themselves down to this incredibly narrow laser-beam focus on one tiny little subject and think about nothing else."

"Whereas women can't?"

"I suppose women can. The rarely seem to want to. What I'm characterizing here, as the female approach, is essentially saner and healthier."

"Hmmmmm."

"See, you are being a little paranoid here and focusing on the negative too much. It's not about how women are deficient. It's more about how men are deficient. Our social deficiencies, lack of perspective, or whatever you want to call it, is what enables us to study one species of dragonfly for twenty years, or sit in front of a computer for a hundred hours a week writing code. This is not the behavior of a well-balanced and healthy person, but it can obviously lead to great advances in synthetic fibers. Or whatever."

"But you said you yourself were not very focused."

"Compared to other men in my family, that's true. So I know a little about astronomy, a lot about computers, a little about business, and I have, if I may say so, a slightly higher level of social functioning than the others. Or maybe it's not even functioning, just an acute awareness of when I'm not functioning, so I at least know when to feel embarrassed."

--

Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson

raya rant

2011-09-04T10:34:00.003+08:00

People just cant seem to understand that you dont want them at their house. And that you too have plans so you cant receive guests on that day.

And also, if you are in raya spirit where you feel obligated to visit, please have the courtesy to drop a call first. And if the host says he/she cant make it, please understand and dont invite yourself to the hosts house. Really its annoying.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin!

2011-08-30T08:10:00.000+08:00

My Raya Poem 2011

In the last week of Ramadan, I felt lousy
feeling grouchy and grumpy
thinking I was not worthy
to celebrate with friends and family

and I was sure!
I would not find this Eidulfitri dear
I would remember Raya 2011 as a blur
I didn't even know if my husband would be near

but today I woke up with a smile!
Today is Eid! We've succeeded Ramadan!
(I can eat breakfast-- it's been a while)
And there lay husband, sleeping like a child

He asked me "can you make roti jala?"
I stared at him, thinking are you serious in your kepala?
Make roti jala for dua orang batang kara?
No dear, let us invade people's houses to eat, let us go beraya!

---
So watch out peeps! Imma coming to eat. But it's likely we'll be having Raya breakfast at McDonald's first. And yes, I am blogging this just moments before semayang raya.

My Master's graduation and some animals.

2011-08-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

Ramadan: Peach Dreams and Melon Showers

2011-08-15T21:09:00.002+08:00

By Sarah Khasawinah

This morning, I rolled out of bed in the double digits. I was supposed to go on a run and end at the peach stand a mile from home. From my half-open eyes, I could see that the Farmer's Market would close in less than two hours, leaving me with little time to run and fetch peaches. I deliberated in bed: run? or just get peaches? I don't deserve peaches if I don't run.

I flipped and turned, and even thought, might as well go back to sleep since it's already so late. Then, suddenly, the red lights forming numbers on my digital clock displayed a new hour. I had just wasted more time in bed. Finally, I declared to myself out loud: I want peaches. I want to run.

I threw on my running clothes, grabbed my key, found some cash, and ran with conviction. I had been dreaming about these peaches ever since I first tried them. "Like candy," does not begin to capture their sweetness. "Like ice cream" does not even half approximate their creaminess. Although a similitude to these peaches is beyond the human imagination, I will try to re-construct my memory: upon taking a bite, the flesh erupts with a lightly tangy extremely sweet mixture that immediately melts almost faster than you can process its goodness. So I quickly take another bite, partly because I want more, but also because the core that remains in my hand is dripping with peachy juices. In this manner, I continue, and in less than 30 seconds, I have just devoured the most delicious thing I have ever had. The experience is fleeting.

I replay that in my head again and again. My breathing is heavy; I am out of shape. My foot hurts. But, Oh the peaches...!

I finish my short route, and race to the peach stand. I wove through people, running. When I got to the peach guy, I stumbled. I didn't see his delicious peaches on the table. I asked him of their whereabouts, and his response:

"Sold out."

That's the end of my peach story and the beginning of another...

I didn't want to go home feeling blue, so I bought two other types of peaches and a dozen of free-range eggs. On my way out, I passed by a melon stand, with several watermelons cut open. Glued to the colorful display of bright reds and yellows, I marveled "Those look delicious." Then, the guy gave me watermelon. I tried to pay him, but he explained that they were about to get thrown out.

“In fact, they’re all gonna get thrown out,” he lamented.

Right away, I offered to take them, although I was already carrying a full load. Somehow, we packed everything up, and I started my trek home. A few blocks away, I collapsed. I convinced myself that it was just a necessary break, and picked myself back up a few minutes later. To the light post, to the light post, I talked myself into making it half a block. Then collapsed again. This cycle of walking a few blocks and falling happened a couple more times. Then, I realized, I’M NOT FASTING AND I’M CARRYING WATERMELONS! I stopped, broke a melon open with my hands, and devoured like a thing of the wild. If I finish this whole melon, it will be one less to carry. Finishing it was easy. From the heat, the run, the trek, and the sheer weight of the watermelons, I was parched. In just a few minutes, I swallowed the fruit whole. At the time, it felt like the most delicious thing I have ever had.

I probably looked like a beast in the middle of a Baltimore block. But in Baltimore, strange things are normal. For instance, the other day, I helped my roommate move into her new place—we carried her queen-sized bed 7 blocks. Instead of outsider stares, passer-byers cheered us on and said things like “That’s teamwork! Good job!” It is also normal to see people sleeping on the patch of grass in between the sidewalk and the street. So, although the question of what people think didn’t cross my mind during my heavy melon trek, in retrospect, I don’t think that a beast in Baltimore is such a strange sight.

Some Arab guy did though. And he made it a point to dwell on.

“You must be hungry,” he approached me from behind.
I ignored him and continued to eat as if I could not hear him.

“You must be from Afghanistan or Pakistan,” he persisted.
At this point, I was annoyed, and firmly replied “No.”

“Really, then where?” he interrogated.
“I’m from here.” I proclaimed.

I wished he would go away. I continued to eat my melon. I was on a mission to make my burden lighter and I wasn’t gonna let this dude stop me.

The guy continued, “I asked because you are dressed like a Moz-e-lem.”
“I am a Muslim,” I declared.

“Then where are you from?”
“I’m from Missouri.”

“OH. Then why are you a Muslim? How did you decide to be a Muslim?”
OK, so maybe he was trying to be friendly; but really, I was so annoyed: “I found it, and it was easy.” (A white lie? I don’t know. I do think that everyday when I wake up in the morning, I make a conscious decision to be a Muslim, and I pray not to die except in a state of submission to God.)

The guy didn’t seem to register my social cues, because even with my terse responses and continued consumption of the melon, he continued.

“I speak Arabic, but I’ve been here for 20 years. Not in Baltimore, but in the U.S. I was wondering you know because it’s Ramadan and all. But that’s OK because I don’t fast either.”

At this point, I kinda wanted to slap him. But it is Ramadan, and even during my lady time, in which I cannot fast, I will try to adhere to the compassion part of this Holy month—or at least to the not-getting-angry part!

“Have a nice day,” I bid the guy farewell because that was the best not-mean thing I could think to do.

I devoured the rest of the melon before anyone else would have the chance to strike up an unwelcome conversation. I found a trashcan for the rinds. And indeed, when I picked myself back up, nourished with the water of one melon, and carrying only 5 more, I felt much lighter and able to proceed.

I made it all the way to the main streetlight without feeling the need to collapse. At the light, a homeless guy was asking for money. I asked him if he wanted melons, and his eyes lit up; so I gave him two, and smiled.

Sticky, sweaty, and smiley, I dragged myself home.

"I'll put a spell on you, you'll fall asleep, and I'll be the first thing you see, and you'll realize that you love me"

2011-08-14T08:06:00.000+08:00

I always thought this song portrayed the sweet notion of a passive, yet wishful, unrequited love. But listening to the extension on this live version of "Strange and beautiful", the sweet yet slightly desperate tone transforms into an angry and vengeful force and I thought perhaps, this song does reflect the evolution of an obsessive unrequited love.

First you watch from afar, then you love from afar, then you want from afar, (but you can't have from afar), so you feel rejected from afar, but you can't leave from afar, so you try to woo from afar, (but you can't win from afar), then you are broken from afar and now broken you want to break from afar, so you are vindictive from afar.

And suddenly you're in the news for murdering someone because you were caught at the crime scene crying into the person's hair with blood on your hands.

Regardless, it's a gorgeous song that always grabs my attention when it's on air.

On a more quaint note, it's always nice to think you can cast a spell to make someone fall in love with you. But in time, would that sort of love ever be enough?

Saying goodbye...

2011-08-08T19:36:00.000+08:00

Randomness at Changi Airport

2011-08-03T17:33:00.002+08:00

adieu

2011-08-01T09:22:00.019+08:00

Change.

Last Friday my office held a small farewell party for me. On the way back from morning court session to the office, at the back of my mind there were tonnes of things that I looked forward to - of going to a new place and meeting new people and doing different work. I was so excited that I never really paid attention to "leaving".

So when I was asked to give a goodbye speech, I didn't have it planned and prepared. I knew the usual "Thank you everyone" "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you" "I hope we'll keep in touch" "Pray for me" etc - therefore I wasn't too worried about it. I mean isn't it just a speech?

I started with "Thank you everyone for holding this party for me. I appreciate it very much. Thank you for your co-operation and guidance throughout my three years here. I have learnt a lot from each of you - both professionally and personally. I'm sorry for any wrongdoings."

And then I chocked up. I could feel that my next line would tremble. Instead of composing myself I went on to say "Oh God I think I'm going to cry."

And I did. I cried. I wasn't sobbing but tears were definitely falling down my cheek. Like waterfall. And I made everyone cried too! Well not everyone, but most of them - including Dato'.

At that point I realised that I love these guys, they have been so nice to me. I love my workplace, I just hate the work. I will miss our breakfast at the canteen, tea time at the pantry. I will miss our conversations at Kak Rozi's room or in Pn Fariza's car or Tn Sazilee's school bus. I will miss their silly jokes, and advice on life. I will miss "flying" to go shopping or watching movie. I will miss everyone and those moments.

I knew my decision to leave isn't about the pay. It has never been. I could stay on a small paying job and still feel happy and contented. I came across this while blog walking and couldn't agree more:

Tetapi kalau kita rasa nilai kenikmatan hidup kita adalah pada berapa banyak duit kita dapat, maka aku tak boleh nak cakap apa kecuali kita tak akan rasa duit kita akan cukup. Kekadang, nilai hidup kita ada depan mata kita dan bukan pada kertas sekeping atau dua keping.

I have to leave because I don't like my work. I feel stuck. I'm not going to go into details and list down every single thing that I dislike about my job. But like Tn Kevin told me "Girl, you need to be mentally stimulated. Staying on in this job will slowly kill you inside." Ditto.

I thought I would bitch about my work when I met with my GM at the new place right after the farewell party. He asked about what I do not like about my current job. But instead I told him "I think I would like to keep it to myself. I don't think it's my place to say bad things about my current place." It wasn't about being politically correct; it's just that where I am now, I don't have bad words for my job.

While typing down this entry, I'm feeling a tinge of sadness. I could cry if I want to. I can blame PMS for the melancholy, but I too, know that I honestly feel what I'm feeling right now. Someone told me that "You're sad to leave because of the happy moments." One of the reasons perhaps.

I thank God for the opportunity that He gave to me to meet with these good people. Alhamdulillah.

Will rejection ever stop hurting?

2011-07-30T23:43:00.001+08:00

Presenting

2011-07-28T21:34:00.003+08:00

**drumrolls**
*
*
*
*

the not so new kid on the block

Ree Viu: Artisan Roast Cafe, Ampang

2011-07-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

If you like the 'little place that very few people go to'.

Ambience & Service: Young, trendy, polite waiters. Managed by one friendly dude called Alang (who made fun of my 'Southern' accent which is Midwestern thanks very much), who pretty much designed and runs the place 'by instinct' as he says it; Artisan Roast Cafe exudes a lot of the 'artistic' vibe of it's hosting Artisan Gallery on Persiaran Ritchie. Walking towards the cafe, which is largely outdoors under big shady trees, you would pass nonchalant people painting batik in a warehouse next door. Basically, this place is cool. This also means service isn't very swift, not snail-paced slow, but people come here to chillex so I suppose it fits.

Food: We were there for brunch and hence had breakfast food. Amy and I ordered omelet which came with peppers and cheese, and roasted mushrooms, tomatoes, and hashbrowns as sides. Fifer ordered pancakes. I had the latte, Fifer had cappucino and Amy bravely ordered a macchiato shot. Verdict? The omelet tasted like any other decent omelet, nothing special. Sides were also all average; good but not great. Fifer's pancakes, we agreed, tasted different, but not in a bad way. She liked her pancakes. I like my homemade pancakes better. But then I like put chocolate chips and stuff in mine. The coffee however, was the SHIT. Like excellent. We all agreed that the coffee was worth the jam, getting lost, and getting lost in the jam to get to this place.

Value for money: Food was a bit on the pricey side; I paid Rm20 for a set breakfast, which was basically the omelet and sides, plus latte, plus juice. Fifer paid Rm12 for the pancakes plus coffee plus juice. The coffee though was well worth its price. rm9 for a cappucino and rm6 for a latte that beats Starbucks off its sock? Totally worth it.

Worth your time and tastebuds?
4/5. If you want a new experience, something cool and trendy, and really really good coffee-- I would give this place a try. But again. It's in AMPANG so unless you live in Ampang, it's a bit of a hassle to just go there for brunch. They should start branching out :P

Ree Viu: Islamic Trattoria, Bandar Baru Bangi

2011-07-23T09:42:00.000+08:00

Don't let the name turn you off this new joint in the BBB.

Ambiance & Service: Simple, but pleasing to the eye. I wasn't a fan of the way they lit the place. Also, I sat right across from a ginormous mirror stretched across the wall and it felt like I was constantly being watched... Waiters said Assalamualaikum upon asking for order, and they do it with a smile! Just islamic goodness. The ones that served us were very polite too.

Food: We ordered the Fratti Pasti? Frangi Pangi? Franti Masti? I'm not sure the exact name, but it was basically a variety of seafood and veggies coated in tempura and deep fried. They gave an odd sauce to go along with it, something like a thousand island which is wrong to me. Deep fried seafood must needs go with tartar. That said the seafood was good and fresh and plentiful: mussels, calamari rings, king prawn, pieces of cod fish, and so were the zucchini and eggplant yums. And just try out their claims of having a 'wood oven' we ordered a seafood marinara pizza. There was barely any cheese on it (but I allowed that it could be because TRADITIONALLY, Italians don't mix cheese with seafood :P) but the crust was really good. I would say among the best I've had for pizza. And there was a healthy variety of seafood on it; mussels, little crabs (pelik gile actually, we found ONE crispily fried mini crab on it the size of a pea), pieces of prawn and sotong. Me and Fifer had only water, but Shaz had the watermelon juice which she says is, "Sedap, but it's hard to mess up watermelon juice" to which me and Fifer both said it's very possible to.

Value for Money:
To be honest, we were all turned off by the prices originally. I mean this is Bangi. I go eat out here in peejays sometimes. Tiba-tiba I am expected to fork out KL prices? That said, this is Italian food, and I've paid more for Italian food elsewhere. The pizza, which was a decent size thin crust pizza, was Rm32 (the seafood yang paling mahal) and the seafood platter which was rm19. Total bill was rm69, and we ate among three people so that's actually not bad. I'd say it's good value for money if you're the type that doesn't need to gorge in food.

Worth your time and tastebud?
4/5. Most definitely-- especially if you're in Bangi or if you like to go Bangi to eat anyway. I will probably go again sometime to try out one of the pastas or ravioli. That said it's newly opened, so hopefully it's not just a good new start destined for deterioration. :P

The cheese-lacking crust-tasty seafood pizza.

Shaz's watermelon juice. And Shaz stressed out reading the Epilogue of A Dance With Dragons in the back.

The seafood tempura things.

eee ngade ngade

2011-07-22T11:02:00.000+08:00

the clawws.

Happy Beelated Birthday Fiferest of Fifers.

Ree-viu

2011-07-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

I realize that I rely on foodblogs for reviews; but I never return the favor. Here is my first attempt at RETURNING THE FAVOR aka reviews of some places I recently (i.e. within the last few months-- because any longer than that quality tends to deteriorate) tried, based on type of food. In attempt to give some structure, I shall comment briefly on Ambience & Service, Food, Value for Money, then give an overall Worth Your Time and Tastebuds rating out of five. Oh and a picture if I can find one. Let's start with some Middle Eastern food!

Middle Eastern

1. Restoran Saba', Cyberjaya
This place is basically a mamak that sells 'nasi arab'.

Ambiance & Service: Nil. The place is kept relatively clean, but you definitely don't come here for the dining experience. They seem to have a high turnover of waiters and waitresses that come from the nearby MMU or Lim Kok Wing-- all with the same "I'd rather be online than serve you" kind of look. Expect the usual untrained teenage service: uninterested and at times, insolent. Like mamaks though, there is a minimal wait time for the food to arrive.

Food: In the four times I've eaten at this place, the food has been pretty consistent: generally tasty and good portions. They probably stock up on packets of MSG for their food-- but who doesn't nowadays? The lamb kapsah is a family favorite, and if you want chicken, I recommend the Hanith. Their hummus is so-so. Actually come to think of it, people come here ONLY to eat the 'nasi arab'. Oh, and whenever I order mint tea, they always say they are out of mint. -_-'

Value for money:
Food + drinks for 6 people would come up to around rm150, so it's not too bad for the amount of food you get. Definitely the cheapest 'nasi arab' food I've been to.

Worth Your Time and Tastebuds?
3.5 out of 5.
Definitely worth having a meal here if you're not too far away from Cyberjaya and are not looking for a special evening. Look elsewhere if you want middle eastern magic.

2. Al-Diafah, Sri Petaling
Truly a diamond in the rough. (hahaha.)

Ambiance & Service: Very fancy. You sit down and they serve you a teeny cup of this intense ginger type drink (Ikram made a face, I finished his) and some cold fresh dates. Waiters are in white and black, and I THINK, in bowtie. The decor is very lavishly Middle Eastern, not necessarily tasteful, but definitely opulent. Largely empty. :P

Food: I've only been here once. I ordered the hummus with foul, which was very tasty. The bread was kinda dumb, it turned solid as a rock the minute it was cold. Ikram ordered mandi lamb, which was pretty good too (but he said Saba's is better). Portion was kinda small, but the rice was dripping with ghee so it was very heavy unlike the kind of rice you get from Saba'. I ordered turkish coffee which came all wrong. *sigh* I have no luck with drinks.

Value for money:
Pricier than most Middle Eastern places I've gone to. Ikram ordered another serving of mandi lamb to go, so in total what we had came up to rm99.

Worth your time and tastebuds?
3.5 out of 5.
I mean, it's a nicer Middle Eastern place than most-- but largely because of decor and how quiet it was given that there weren't many patrons (probably because it was in Sri Petaling of all places.) I wouldn't go here again though, nothing ridiculously amazing about the food or the experience. Although the Arab sundry store downstairs might be something I'd visit again.

3. Restoran Hadramawt, Ampang
Just the fact that it's in Ampang should turn you off.

Ambiance & Service: Decor and ambience is pretty typical of the other Middle Eastern places you find in Jalan Damai, or would have found, since Jalan Damai has supposedly been shut down and its restaurantiers have ran off into other crannies of KL. Service is so-so, it's a pretty busy place so you'll need to do a little striptease to catch a waiter's eye but once you do they'll make it worth your time.

Food: I thought the food was pretty decent, the nasi arab stuff was good. Fish was okay. Hummus was good. And they had mint for their tea, hurrah! Portions were also quite big.

Value for money: Someone belanja-ed us this one, so I have no idea, but I think the food was generally a bit pricier than Saba', but definitely cheaper than Al-Diafah. Six people eating plus some nasi arab ditapau probably came up to a little over rm200? Not bad lah.

Worth your time and tastebud?
3.75 out of 5.
I originally gave this place a 4 out of 5 because I thought the food and price were comparable to Saba' (but less evidence of MSG), and the ambiance and service were much better. Then I remembered that it's in Ampang so OFF .25 points. Because it's not REALLY worth that much trouble.

2011-07-17T11:56:00.002+08:00

Karaoke + husband + brothers + oldies == interesting

why i love online coupons

2011-07-11T22:01:00.011+08:00

1) i'm a shopaholic
2) who doesn't LOVE discounts?
3) click the photo below

If this place is a zoo

2011-07-09T08:58:00.000+08:00

I hope it's the night safari kind. Those are much cooler. And you don't have to see the animals so depressed. Because it's hard to see them at all.

I have many thoughts about this Bersih 2.0 rally and how the 'government' is dealing with it. All these thoughts are hardly informed thoughts at all because I try to avoid reading local news for fear of hopeless sadness. I am a chicken buckbuckbuuuuck.

But the only thought that I will write here about Bersih 2.0 rally and how the 'government' is dealing with it is: I guess we still are a third world country.

Look at me all creative and shit. Heehee.

2011-07-03T02:21:00.000+08:00

Oh I think I might just! Buzz me the karaoke date and feed me full of sugar. Girls, you know how truly easy I am despite my "solid stance" ala Celine Dion's tendency to confidently stand with her legs spread wide while belting out her tunes of love. We will get high on sweet life and have fun until I crash =p
10 minutes is plenty of time.

I am in misereeee

2011-06-27T18:34:00.002+08:00

*grins* The flailing arms dance absolutely reminds me of my husband.

Like it's dynamite

2011-06-27T14:30:00.002+08:00

This is kind of awesome. It gives hope to people who can't play instruments like myself :P

A really good deal at a really bad time

2011-06-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

Tak pe, relax dulu. Gelabah later.

The Ex-Factor

2011-06-13T09:01:00.000+08:00

the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
how could you be so heartless?
Raised in Carolina, she said I'm not like that
you got new friends and I got homies, but in the end it's still lonely
tryin' to remind her when we go back
no dawn no day, I'm always in this twilight in the shadow of your heart.

And now Weiner plans to seek treatment. If you think about it, it's kind of depressing how a political scandal story unfolds in the news. Accusations are followed by denial followed by small unapologetic admission followed by further accusations followed by denial followed by admission followed by further accusations followed by apologetic admission, then remorse and finally the last defeat: 'plans to seek help'.

"I cheat on my wife, I'm going to seek help." "I had sex with an intern, I'm going to seek help." "I send lewd photos of myself to underage teens, I'm going to seek help."

This place is a zoo, you're right it's true.

I shake my head and I'm starting to think "Prices are high, politicians are philandering, and children don't respect their elders." This is a sign of aging.

I catch myself and realize that prices can only rise, politicians have always philandered, and children eventually grow up. Hopefully this is a sign of wisdom.

This is limbo time, time that I have time to think about things.

Time I can think up catchy lines like "The Ex-Factor", then realize it's probably been thought up before. The ex-factor is a surreal factor. The shadow of a person long gone spooking you every now and then for no reason other than a change in a room's lighting.

My ex, his ex, her ex, they jump out with claws every now and then when the mood is right. All the badness is forgotten, and you start thinking, "what went wrong" not necessarily because you wish things went right, but because you don't want wrongness to creep up on your present right and blindside you into demoting a solid person into another shadow.

Have you ever woken up next to someone who just had a nightmare?
You realize your significance then.

Darling, now THAT'S a song for messy thoughts. (He can't reply because he's asleep.)

so schuwittt

2011-06-10T16:35:00.004+08:00

"The only thing I wanted to change when I met my wife was her name"

per Rhodri Giggs whose wife and brother (ie Ryan Giggs) had an affair for eight years

curses Ryan!

2011-06-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

I told Ikram about a bad day from my childhood memory. A bad day that came from childhood 'friends', the kind who made a kid feel wrong and nervous most of the time, like I was always on the verge of committing a grievous error that deserves punishment. Things that social awkwardness breed out of.

I told him I tried looking them up through various online means-- but to no avail. I hope they're fat and ugly now, and it bothers me a bit that they're probably not.

He said to forgive but not to forget, and that God is fair.

He said he was sure I was a pleasant little kid, and wished we were friends back then.

I reminded him he bit my hand when we were little kids. He said he doesn't remember this and that I don't have any witnesses.

Somehow this makes me feel better.

Only (graduating) girl in the world

2011-05-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

Of course I'm not-- and neither are you or you or you. But isn't it nice how your friends shower you with flowers and chocolate and your mother buys you a new outfit and strangers seeing you walk around in your robe congratulate you as if this feat was done EXCLUSIVELY by you. I think I liked my graduation day a lot. But I think one of the main highlights of the day was seeing this:

BANGI--REPRESENT.

And this means a lot since, this is a day where there were crab balls and chocolate mousse in the shape of a mouse.

If I had Photoshop I would work on this picture so that my Ikram would be in this one. But alas, work takes precedence for a man. The only man in my teenage dream world.

Ps: I kinda love Katy Perry and Rihanna right now if you can't already tell.

The end of the world has passed.

2011-05-23T01:36:00.000+08:00

Jack Jones, I'm calling him.
I actually don't know his name, but he looks like he'd be called something snappily alliterative like Jack Jones.
I've seen Jack Jones twice in a row in the past couple of days that I've been walking down Huntingdon Avenue.
The first time was when Yenny and I were on our way to the Charles Theater to watch Win Win. He said, "Hello there ladies, do you have the time?"
We didn't stop for him, but I glanced at my watch and quickly told him the time.
The second time I saw him was this morning when I was walking down to Safeway for some groceries. He was at a different corner this time, talking to someone. Maybe he recognized me, maybe he didn't. He flashed a bright smile and asked me how I was doing.
I didn't stop, but automatically smiled and said "I'm good thanks."
As I continued walking, it occurred to me that Jack Jones was a homeless man. And he had spoken to me twice, and he didn't ask me for money a single time.
On my way back, I found him sitting on the footsteps of a small church eating his breakfast. I asked him if he had change in quarters for a couple of dollars. He said he didn't. Then I asked him if he would like a couple of dollars, and he said, Yes please. He said God bless you, and gave me a peace sign.
As I was walking away, he called to me and asked if I needed help with my groceries. I said I didn't, but thank you anyway.
As I was walking further away from him, two thoughts occurred to me:
I wish I gave him a bit more money.
AND
I am glad that yesterday was not the end of the world. I'd hate to think that Jack Jones had to die still a homeless man.

Pantai Ini == Pattani

2011-05-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

I just finished my 3 weeks working as an interviewer for this interview research study on Phase I clinical trial participants.

I'm really happy with the opportunity, because I met and talked to a wide array of people from Baltimore; from the stereotype young or middle aged Black man (who may or may not be doing drugs) and only in it for the money (not that I blame them), to the curious paradox of a big Black man that scared me at first until he smiled and told me he was Vegan-- and he's like ridiculously rich and yet in grad school which is another interesting paradox; to one Asian/Italian/White (we put in Mixed Race on the form) man who I would have loved to be friends with in real life (in fact I don't know if he saw my ring, but he seemed to have contemplated or attempted to ask me out :P); to the White woman who said she never even took the money and only did it because it's stupid to die from diarrhea-- and she refused to answer the question "Who is the head of the household?" because it was archaic; finally to the gentle older Black men who are so smooth and funny and wise I kinda wish I could take them home with me so they can be my Uncle or Grandpa.

Interesting notes:
1) The people I interviewed who I thought were the most intelligent would always have trouble with rating the statement:

I am as smart as most people.

2) Almost everyone laughed when I ask them to rate the statement:

If I met the exact copy of myself, I would enjoy talking to this person.

AND ok, I just realized I started this post to write about something else.

I wanted to write about my last day there, and how Dan asked me out of the blue if I was bilingual.

I paused and counted in my head, and I hesitated to say "I might be tri-lingual, depending on whether you consider this third language I know is an actual language or a dialect." (Btw, if you thought I was thinking of Russian as a third language, no, because I don't think I qualify for that. A certain checkers game on an Amish Farm with some Russians showed I still remember how to understand them, but that I have very little confidence to reply)

Obviously, such a statement would spark questions. And I found myself nervously explaining Klantanese language and Pattani and the history and culture and as he nodded and absorbed it all in I couldn't help but feel tremors of FEAR that I am poisoning his mind with wrong facts.

So now that I have the leisure of looking stuff up, I'm happy to say I did remember my history correctly and gave the correct gist of things. At least sort of. But the wikipedia page on it makes me unhappy. I feel that I came from a place and a people that have such rich history and I need to READ it properly first before I open my mouth to strangers and impress upon them certain ideas that may be false!

The thing about being outside 'the motherland', especially if your motherland is shrouded in mystery to most people outside of it, is that you'll get many interesting questions about things you never would have even thought would qualify as a questions.

Example:
Q: Would all Muslims understand some Arabic?
A: (long "Um") We do read the Quran which is in Arabic. But it's a higher poetic form of Arabic that is quite different from the spoken Arabic that most Arab-speakers speak. So the answer would be, we might recognize some root words but unless we were Arab or learned Arabic, we probably don't really understand Arabic.

Dan sweetly asked if I could write down a few Malay phrases, and as a joke I decided to write them in Malay and in Klantanese. Now I'm convinced is just a dialect. :(

But it's not!!!! The problem with documenting Klantanese is that it doesn't seem to have a systematic written component.

2011-05-17T07:34:00.001+08:00

Portlandia is ridiculous. Lol.

Update from Sarah's half marathon

2011-05-17T01:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

Thanks again for all of your support! I thought of each of you today during the run and how we are all rooting for my friend Rehab, and continuing her cause. Your support got me through what turned out to be a really tough run for me!

The weather was ideal—cloudy for the first half and sunny for the second. Watching the clouds open up and turn from dark to light was almost magical. The course was very hilly, but beautiful—pastoral for all 13.1 miles. I saw horses and many friendly guard dogs.

The biggest drawback came from an unexpected place: my fellow runners. As you know, I wear hijab, so I cover from my head to my toes; and yes, I cover all the same when I run, too. Often people comment on the way I am dressed, but usually it is a friendly comment out of curiosity, and I am happy to address them. But today, before, during, and after, people would not stop commenting in a condescending sort of way:

-Do you have to wear all of that?

-Are you sure you chose to wear all of that?

-Isn’t that so much clothes?

-Aren’t you hot, honey?

-Wow, you must be so hot. You are really hot.

-I really really admire you for wearing all that.

-etc.

This one girl in particular would not stop bothering me before the race, and when the race started, I was thrilled at the opportunity to lose her. But 10 minutes later, she found me again and tapped on my shoulder to tell me how much she admires me. Around mile 11, there was one girl in a red tutu who told me that she admires me, and unlike everyone else, she didn’t follow her “admiration” with a stream of questions about my volition in the matter. I found her admiration genuine.

But I didn’t run the race to be an object of admiration. I ran the race to continue the memory of my friend Rehab. Along the way, I know that a girl covered from head to toe on a sunny day is quite a scene; but I always hope that my image is one that could build bridges rather than create divisions.

The mental toll of not getting angry despite many patronizing and rude comments, and trying to avoid so many people on a crowded course left me with a throbbing headache; and I slept for four hours when I got home! But I just woke up and am about to enjoy pizza for dinner with my awesome roommates! And thinking of all of you again, I am again grateful for your support, and renewed with a positive energy.

Thank You,

Sarah

The Maryland Half Marathon in memory of Rehab El-Buri

2011-05-10T07:51:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

My good friend, housemate, and unofficially adoptive sister Sarah Khasawinah is running the Maryland Half Marathon in memory of her childhood friend Rehab El-Buri who passed away from melanoma at age 26 years two months ago. The money raised will be used for the very important cause of cancer patient care at the University of Maryland Marlene and Stewart Greenebaum Cancer Center.

Statistically cancer is on the rise, but I don't think statistics are necessary considering almost all of us know someone, sometimes someone very beloved, who have had to fight cancer.

Sarah will be running 13 miles (that's 21km for the miles-impaired), and her goal is to raise $200 and she's very close and you can help her reach it!

Click on Sarah's marathon page to support! Jazakallah khair!

The nature of the bulb and the fruit

2011-05-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

weak knees

2011-05-01T04:09:00.000+08:00

I was having brunch at Cafe Mogador in New York with Nadirah & her friends Gabby & Pala just now.

An hour into the meal--

Pala: (suddenly leans forward in a hushed voice) "That guy that just left, with the thing in his pocket-- that's the guitarist for The Strokes"

Me: Nick Valensi? Nikolai Fraiture? (Self: dope! that's the bassist)

Pala: No, Albert--

Me: Hammond Jr! Omygawd I love him! I love them! They're my favorite band back when I had a favorite band!

Pala: Ok I'll look out for when he comes back. I think he'll come back.

-- 15 minutes past--

Me: I guess he's not coming back.

-- we get the check and I'm signing my bill--

Pala: There he is!

And I missed him again! A second time! But no-- this time I was determined to see. So I got up and walked around supposedly to go to the bathroom. And just as I was about to go into it--

Albert Hammond (EFFIN) Jr: Oh, excuse me.
(Polite movement to make way)

Me: Oh it's okay. (quick smile, goes into bathroom, locks the door)

(Stares into the toilet bowl for five seconds, unsure what to do)

Chopped

2011-05-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

Some people refuse to peel through the layers, man.

They just get right to it.

2011-04-28T09:14:00.000+08:00

Am I the only one who is completely sick of seeing the royal wedding in the news?

geology haiku

2011-04-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

All minerals are solid
thus liquid water
is not a mineral
but a snowflake is -anon

Best opening sequence ever. sighs

2011-04-21T06:31:00.002+08:00

Game of Thrones:

Watch it watch it watch it!

My brother on "The stages of overvalued technogadget purchase"

2011-04-18T18:58:00.000+08:00

Zakhov: excited->giddy->anxiety->item arrives->subconsciously letdown->tries to convince himself he made the right deal->posts on the internet about it->buyers remorse->soldiers on, feigning happiness

Footnote: At time of writing this Zaki was trying to console himself over a lost bid for an Asus soundcard.

Speechless effect

2011-04-17T01:56:00.000+08:00

The Morning Benders + Echo Chamber Orchestra "Excuses"

I am welling up in tears like a ridiculous infant.

Favorite quotes (more or less) from Tariq Ramadan's speech at JHU, April 15th

2011-04-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

On Muslims & integration:
"We need to have a post-integration discussion- now it's time to talk about contribution. it's no longer about how muslims can integrate in society -- because we are here, we've been here sometimes for hundreds of years. now it's time to talk about how muslims can contribute to society."

On being a good Muslim:
"Being a good muslim is not just about getting up in the middle of the night to pray. The prophet was praying in the middle of the night in order to get strength so that he can change the world for the better the next day."

Ahhh!! How can you not love Mark Brendanawicz, Ann Perkins?!

2011-04-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

Be part of art!

2011-04-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

My friend and yours, Nadirah Zakariya has been courted into being the Director of Photography (DP) for what promises to be a beautiful piece on women dealing with loss.

Nadi speaks about being the DP for When You Leave The Earth.

Click on the link and see for yourself, and if you're moved, try to support the project so they can make it happen! Or if you're not moved by the project, you know you can't say no to that face. :P

And by face I mean mine or Nadi's whichever works better for you. double :P

Ars longa, vita brevis. Life is short, art is long.

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

2011-04-09T03:24:00.000+08:00

Laki aku kurus sangat ni.

Panic attack

2011-04-09T03:04:00.002+08:00

I really don't want to do what I might have to do. Help.

where everybody knows your name

2011-04-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

"When I got home, and turned the key to my door that's when I realized I had an amazing journey. I left my home to travel far far away... I reached a place where nobody knew me, and nobody cared about me. And I was scared at times, and mostly tired at times, but I focused on what I came for and kept moving towards that. And then finally when I was at my worst state, I finally got there. And I saw the girl I came for... the girl who knows me. See? The power of the mind"

"So you kept going because of the power of your mind."

"No, I kept going because of hope."

somebody stop me

2011-03-29T13:56:00.001+08:00

I am getting hooked on ebay and have just felt the face slap that is losing a bid for a 25 piece spring blossom green corelle dinnerware set.

Insert Song Title Here

2011-03-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

I was washing dishes after lunch and suddenly I started singing/making up this song about a man obsessed with a girl he can't get... the song is sung in a whiny pitchy voice with a faux Eastern European accent and is actually quite catchy if I do say so myself. These are the lyrics that I remember:

your hair is gorgeous so gorgeous
like the waves that wiped out my village
though it was horrible and people died
but it was beautiful in the pictures
terrifyingly beautiful

your lips are luscious so luscious
like the cherries on my cherry tree
and though I'm allergic to cherries
(I plant them for decoration)
I hope I'm not allergic to your lips

your laugh is haunting like the devil
taunting me in my dreams
saying "na na na na you can't get me"
but still I chase its echo
through the caves of my slumber

and when i wake up i wake up all alone
just me and my erection
all alone
all alone...

--

I wish I remembered how I ended the song.

Differential emotional perception

2011-03-24T09:05:00.000+08:00

A theory that defines the normal humanbeing in her normal state. Where the death of a cockroach does not elicit the same emotional response as the death of a child. They are both deaths-- and deaths are regretted in general because they are a form of loss. But context modulates how we emotionally perceive the death. The death of a cockroach hence is met with a curled lip of slight disgust. (Who is going to clean it?) The death of a child (if a stranger) is met with a furrowed brow; depending on further details of the death, may provoke a tear or two. And certainly it will make us think -- how fragile life is. And if the child is familiar, we may emotionally perceive the event with a strength that is apt to blind-- never to recover fully ever.

A theory that also has a footnote --
Under changes in her internal environment (induced by potent forces), a normal humanbeing forgoes her normal state and loses her differential emotional perception. The death of a cockroach is as heart cramping and gut wrenching as the death of a child.

And who to listen to all this but a good friend who is sane?

she got a point though...

2011-03-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

because she made that one comment that i will not forget for the rest of the year.

2011-03-09T17:29:00.000+08:00

Tun,
On your special Growing Old Day I got a friend of mine to give you a special birthday greeting!

"Atun, I officially welcome you to the wild now that you are old enough to adopt our fashion sense. When you need to run super fast on land to kill a gazelle the way we do, you have to do it looking like a roaring hot mama indeed. Now you have been granted permission to do so. But then again, you humans and your boobies and running...well, good luck with that! Happy 26th!"
- a member of the cheetah girls. the REAL cheetah girls.

IMPOSTORS!

PS: This is NOT how you do it. If you're going to wear our pattern, please make sure you don't make your audience want to claw their eyes out and then throw em at you. Please be considerate. Eyeballs are not known to regenerate and if you dress like the impostors above, many will take the risk to just lose their vision than to have to witness such crimes against nature and humanity.

Vincent the Peaceful Assassin

Basket Case

why are u not smiling?

slowly but surely

From Tuesday to Tuesday

international call

the BFF QUIZ

From Tuesday to Tuesday

The things I get to see

you are yummy

It's still early enough in the year

We're as old as we feel

January 6, 1984

Not a picture of a roasted bat

the last new year's post I wrote was rather a drag

just plain distasteful

8 glasses of water = 1.9 litre

Trust

vincent is an assassin, not a grammar teacher

laws taken at own hand

Collector's syndrome and the quest for completion

she pulled the iza stunt!

Sarah: How's this for a running-related story

stomping feet (and fists) down

"Sabr Wins the Race"

OMG 123

go easy on the

It's hard to be objective

berlagak sikit, maaf Tasnim.

I'm thinking that 2011 is a sucky year

life worth

Remember this:

so bizarre oh bizarre how bizarre

post note

newbie

We all — in the end — die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories

The graduation speech Chuck Palahniuk might give

My embarassing admission is...

Why I'm against surgery for very old people and very dying people

Why try to change me now?

If you're wondering about 'embarassing high school pictures'....

message for a Gem

Nightmare with the big bad wolf...

National Press Club Run, September 18*

quick question

I know I've thought the same way she did before

They say things are more likely to come true if you write them down

Nerds explained.

raya rant

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin!

My Master's graduation and some animals.

Ramadan: Peach Dreams and Melon Showers

"I'll put a spell on you, you'll fall asleep, and I'll be the first thing you see, and you'll realize that you love me"

Saying goodbye...

Randomness at Changi Airport

adieu

Will rejection ever stop hurting?

Presenting

Ree Viu: Artisan Roast Cafe, Ampang

Ree Viu: Islamic Trattoria, Bandar Baru Bangi

eee ngade ngade

Ree-viu

why i love online coupons

If this place is a zoo

Look at me all creative and shit. Heehee.

I am in misereeee

Like it's dynamite

A really good deal at a really bad time

The Ex-Factor

so schuwittt

Only (graduating) girl in the world

The end of the world has passed.

Pantai Ini == Pattani

Update from Sarah's half marathon

The Maryland Half Marathon in memory of Rehab El-Buri

The nature of the bulb and the fruit

*weak knees*

Chopped

geology haiku

Best opening sequence ever. *sighs*

weak knees

Best opening sequence ever. sighs