I hate that I had this post all planned out in my head when I was running just now and I'm really tempted to just not write it.
I was going to start with, You know that movie "He's just not that into you"? It was shot in Baltimore. But that's not the point. I think the point of the movie was that despite the generalization, there are exceptions to the rule. I keep thinking about Jennifer Aniston's character lately. Waiting for her boyfriend to pop the question, when he clearly was showing the classic signs of forever bachelorhood. Eventually she realized that he was never going to, and she broke up with him. Only to find later, when her dad fell ill, that while all her happily married sisters' husbands sat around the house watching a game and eating the food in the house, her ex boyfriend had come to her house and was doing the laundry and washing the dishes. Only to find that he was better than all her sisters' husbands combined. So they got back together. Then he popped the question anyway.
So I keep thinking about this and I keep wondering if I'm the exception to the rule, or if I'm just being selectively blind to some blunt facts.
On better days when I think I'm fabulous, I believe that I am the exception to the rule and to all the iggling niggling feelings of doubt I plug my ears and go "lalalalalala" and I know he thinks I'm the best girl.
On not so good days, like today, and I feel 4 inches too short, 2 inches too wide, boring, uninspired, homely, unoriginal and anxious, I can only concentrate on one thing and one thing only and I feel like running across the street and not looking both ways just to see what happens... and I know when I talk to him he thinks I'm troublesome and perhaps not worth the trouble.
And I'm so convinced of all this, both of this, that I can spend the day smiling and walking on air or conversely crying and dragging my feet.
Well what do you know. Post written.
ps-Remind me to tell you all about the crazy pilots and flight attendants on the Southwest flight I took.
1 comment:
i'm deprived of sleep right now. and this is what i read today on insomnia:
'Sleep deprived test subjects have difficulties thinking of imaginative words or ideas. Instead, they tend to choose repetitious words or clichéd phrases.'
so i'm gonna cheat a bit and repeat what i said this morning:
we could have been twins in a past life, kye. but i was probably the ineffectiveone so they decided 'ahah! we're turning you into a man the next life so that you can deal with it better' or something like that.
then later i realized that we could have been brother and sister twins. so i would have still been the ineffective one.
i don't know where i'm going with this.
but i hope you look left and right before crossing roads.
don't know what i'd do if you didn't.
for what it's worth, i like to think everyone is sort of an exception to some rule.
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