I was talking to someone about the term 'bestfriend', and she said she thought it was not a very useful term. She believed a person can have many good friends, but no true 'best' friend among them.
For some reason, I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about this in the shower, while brushing my teeth, while frying my egg and on my walk to work. After much pondering, muttering, and self-convincing, I have decided that the term 'bestfriend' is still useful and relevant to me but perhaps not in the same way I used to think about it (i.e. a bestfriend = the Number One friend). I also came up with working definitions for other types of friends, starting from the people who I know but have not yet become 'friends' with.
Acquaintance: Someone I know, may engage in brief sporadic chats generally superficial and repetitive in nature, and I would not make an effort to find out when their birthday is.
Friend: Someone I know and makes me brighten up when I bump into them. Someone I have shared a car-ride or a meal with at some point, engage in chats generally with continuity from a previous conversation, and I might make an effort to find out when their birthday is.
Close friend: Someone who has been a Friend for X time period (X > 1 year), and has spent at least one dark night pondering the meaning of life and existence over coffee, or on a late evening drive with me. We try to keep in touch even after one or both have moved to a different city as any casual 'bumping into' was unlikely to happen except in the instance we already made a date to meet up but forgot to look where we were going and physically collided into each other... and I would feel guilty if I did not know when their birthday is-- but I probably would know their birthday at this point.
Bestfriend: A Friend who has been, at one point or various points in time, inseparable from me for X time period (X> 1 year), as a result of which I know a list of their 'favorite things and persons' by heart. Of course, I know their birthday, and would feel super guilty if I forgot to wish them/get a card/buy a gift.
Favorite (best) friend: The Friend I have grown close to, perhaps even became Bestfriends with, who I objectively adore. The Friend or Bestfriends who, for unknown reasons, generally makes me happy and excited simply because I am in their presence.
.....As I was writing this, different people came into mind. While some people fit perfectly into a category, some did not at all. Some people were acquaintances, and never became more even after many years. Some gradually grew/ climbed up the ranks due to chance occasions. Some leapt from stranger to bestie-- but those sheer kindred spirits grow rare as I grow older. Some people have been in a higher category, but then moved down, then moved up again. Some simply moved down, and out. And some have always been and likely always will be on the highest pedestal.
It amazes me and humbles me when I recall some childhood memories of being a friendless git. Comparing that to now, I have only one trite thing to say: I wish everyone in the world had at least one good friend.
For some reason, I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about this in the shower, while brushing my teeth, while frying my egg and on my walk to work. After much pondering, muttering, and self-convincing, I have decided that the term 'bestfriend' is still useful and relevant to me but perhaps not in the same way I used to think about it (i.e. a bestfriend = the Number One friend). I also came up with working definitions for other types of friends, starting from the people who I know but have not yet become 'friends' with.
Acquaintance: Someone I know, may engage in brief sporadic chats generally superficial and repetitive in nature, and I would not make an effort to find out when their birthday is.
Friend: Someone I know and makes me brighten up when I bump into them. Someone I have shared a car-ride or a meal with at some point, engage in chats generally with continuity from a previous conversation, and I might make an effort to find out when their birthday is.
Close friend: Someone who has been a Friend for X time period (X > 1 year), and has spent at least one dark night pondering the meaning of life and existence over coffee, or on a late evening drive with me. We try to keep in touch even after one or both have moved to a different city as any casual 'bumping into' was unlikely to happen except in the instance we already made a date to meet up but forgot to look where we were going and physically collided into each other... and I would feel guilty if I did not know when their birthday is-- but I probably would know their birthday at this point.
Bestfriend: A Friend who has been, at one point or various points in time, inseparable from me for X time period (X> 1 year), as a result of which I know a list of their 'favorite things and persons' by heart. Of course, I know their birthday, and would feel super guilty if I forgot to wish them/get a card/buy a gift.
Favorite (best) friend: The Friend I have grown close to, perhaps even became Bestfriends with, who I objectively adore. The Friend or Bestfriends who, for unknown reasons, generally makes me happy and excited simply because I am in their presence.
.....As I was writing this, different people came into mind. While some people fit perfectly into a category, some did not at all. Some people were acquaintances, and never became more even after many years. Some gradually grew/ climbed up the ranks due to chance occasions. Some leapt from stranger to bestie-- but those sheer kindred spirits grow rare as I grow older. Some people have been in a higher category, but then moved down, then moved up again. Some simply moved down, and out. And some have always been and likely always will be on the highest pedestal.
It amazes me and humbles me when I recall some childhood memories of being a friendless git. Comparing that to now, I have only one trite thing to say: I wish everyone in the world had at least one good friend.
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