This is a rant: IF I've ever had the urge to VOODOO...

this is it. This is what has compelled me to think of the ways of the Devil to get what I want. And what is it that I want apart from a rockstar(in which I have absolute faith that God will manage that for me if that is what he feels is befitting for the likes of lil old me)(oh and yeah, maybe like a life would be a thing that I would like too)? I want REVENGE. Revenge or whatever evil you deserve for feeling like you have the right to treat us like we left our brains on the dresser while putting on our lip gloss (by the way, not implying that putting on lip gloss requires no brain skills. Unless you're not one to wear lip gloss, you will not know of the great skill it requires).

Can anyone say male chauvinistic asshole with puss oozing out of your brain and other unseen orifices? Can anyone suspect that you do not have Titan's spear snugly secured in your rectum tickling your intestines? Can anyone not notice that your shrivelled up balls are for washed out half-trannies to see???? Can anyone dispute my claims????

I've never been this raged. I've never felt the need to pull all my strength together to bash your face in with your own hammer. All because you feel you are a man. Well, a man really doesn’t have man tits. A man really isn't as half-witted as you are. A man shouldn't be a sad case of mental degradation caused by such manliness.

Oh forgive me for being all so vague about who I intend to have gang raped by a parade of unshaven bikers. I am speaking of my CONTRACTOR. Who is a MELAYU REMPIT. Who is near 50 but has the wit of an undeveloped (in fact, stunted) spore. Who never deserves to work again or the sympathy of any other human being or living organism. Trust me. I do not lie (not when I am angry). I also do not take on the effort to start a diatribe for absolutely nothing. This man not only has fucking low standards for product quality, he is also blind. Blind to the imperfections of his low quality productions. He also has the taste of Dame Edna's dress sense when she is high on weed, gas fumes, rotten eggs and turd 4 weeks old (which is from the looks of it probably all the time).

To have hired him is the single WORSE mistake of my life (oh wait, there was that one time at that one place where I...no,nevermind). I'm sure he did something to me to have clouded my judgement and tricked me into hiring him. And rest assured it wasn't his good looks unless you find the lovechild of CarrotTop and a blob fish (sorry blob fish) the definition of good looks. Worse yet, I was partially responsible for hiring him as I was the one who found this human prune. My brother and I. But honestly, it's more of my brother's fault than mine because he was too lazy to look for anyone else and the price he offered was attractive plus he wanted to get on with it ASAP. 4 months in and all we've got is a shitty house with lots of stress and anxiety...yeah Kut, good going. But of course my brother is never going to take that. Because he too has a penis.

ANYWAY, this piece of dog shit doesn’t listen because he's old and he's got an ego as big as the width of the fattest man on earth. And not to sound racist but it is also because he's a MELAYU. MELAYU REMPIT. Who gives the most crap ass excuses a dead tree trunk couldn’t accept yet is so fucking logical in his own curd of a brain. And he talks to us "women" in the most condescending but kononnya 'not meant to be condescending' sexist way that makes you want to grow your nails 5 inches long and sharpen it day and night to ensure that it will cause the utmost irreversible damage to the old fart's eyes. He doesn’t hear a word we say unless we put our prosthetic penises on. And unfortunately I have scoured the whole of Kajang for one and no one sells it so us "women" can't get a word through his smoked up head. I kid you not. Everything we complain about that is obvious even to a myopic cyclops he would have an excuse for. He always starts with this sentence "Tak Kak, macam ni....blablabla otak saya tertinggal kat celah bontot saya". And I threw my hands up long ago when my mom made the mistake of telling me not to get mad in case he runs away with our money (in which she and my brother unfortunately forked out more than 95% before 95% was even completed on the project) and she LOVES to play the scared woman who is just plain scared all the time and leaves her safety at the mercy of others. I know she doesn’t mean to but she can't help it. She needs them all to know how vulnerable she is against thieves, robbers and any kind of criminals or scary-looking individuals and how she can't fucking defend herself because she is a woman. Who is weak. And scared.

I know, SIGH!. She doesn’t even put up a front. She's just all....boohoohoo please siapkan my house before someone breaks and enters because I can't defend myself. I am a woman.

Who wouldn’t take advantage of that in this modern world, mom?

UGH!!!!!

I don't know about you but for me, even if you can't physically defend yourself from any form of physical harm (obviously I am not made of iron and can't even stand properly let alone fight off evildoers) but there are other ways in defending yourself without the use of force. Like the use of wit and at the very least you can hint at witchcraft. Sometimes even alluding at some sort of sinister power can have people back off. I would know. I have THAT kind of face that repels people. I know, lucky me.

And then there's my brother. I know you're busy. I understand through and through how busy you are in your final semester but if you were smart enough to manage your time plus care enough about your "responsibilities" towards this family you could be more helpful because after all, you have the "power" because you too have a penis. Really, need I explain how worthy you are if you own one? And in this family, there's only one left that's fully developed and because of that sheer tool of excellence, he is the only one the dog contractor would listen to and nod obediently at every demand and command. If you witnessed the difference between a conversation between the contractor and my brother and compare it the conversation between the contractor and my mother, you would be left to take up drinking at the sexism and frustration. That is if you're of my gender. Because if you have a penis. The world is your oyster. At least in the field of construction.

For those looking for a contractor, I give you fair warning (until I create my hate website) do NOT fucking hire ABDUL JALIL BIN ********* (email me for the last name if you really want to know - this is my safety measure to ensure that I don't get sued for defamation if that is possible) of JALIL ENTERPISE (fuck, don’t even know if this is a LEGIT company as it doesn’t even sound like one or if there even is an office. I wouldn't put it pass him if his office was just his home toilet). He works in the Bandar Tun Razak and Cheras area and recently also in the Kajang area (unfortunately so). He talks like someone who pretends to have lived life but was probably friendless for the first 35 years of his life. He only got a wife because someone owed his mother a favor and his wife is probably planning her secret escape. She probably has an SOS website somewhere on the internet.

My nearby neighbor has taken him up for extension work (don’t know when that'll start) but it's ok because he has a penis and I don’t like him because they probably have the same mentality. Oh well boohoo. Because if I did like you, I'd warn you but it's unfortunate how some people are just not my kind of tomyam.

I hate that I have to waste my energy this way. We all know how tiring anger and vengeance can be. But I am only human. One without a penis.

Sorry people. Happier post in the future!

PS- To all the Melayu Rempits who might have bizarrely chanced upon this post, I'm sorry HE gave yalls a bad name but it's not my fault. Email me if you want his full name. Then you can get on your bad ass kapcai and wheelie on over to his "office". Because I am after all, JUST a woman and I can't do anything about it.