The graduation speech Chuck Palahniuk might give

I just came back from my sister's high school graduation (shout out to my smart cookie sister Noor Afifa!) and I spent fifteen minutes on the phone complaining to Ikram about the speech given by the guest of honor, a Rector of a certain public university that won't be named, but uhh touts itself as the defender of bumiputeras.

It was just so.... typical Malaysian government-linked institution type speech. I.e. your run-of-the-mill brainwashing politically motivated speech highlighting successes (or rather, mediocrity) of the institution (we are ranked among the top 600 universities in the world!! our graduates have an employment rate of over 50%!!) and just very little actual substance or imagination and most sadly, very little inspiration.

I frankly thought those kids deserved a better speech. Maybe something like the kinda speech I heard at BTN two years ago, from the Lieutenant (or Colonel?) who really got through to me with his sincere love of the country, love for his people and family and friends (he showed pictures of him and his platoon when they were working quietly to defend the country in the confrontation), and his love of LIFE (the man SKYDIVES as a hobby) and his ability to communicate and inspire.

I told Ikram, I get it, not everyone can give speeches like that and not everyone is expected to. But you would hope that if you were speaking in front of a hall of impressionable young minds bursting with potential and hungering for the WORLD and all it offers, you would do better than just deliver a speech that befits a "Kata-kata aluan" of a badly printed booklet. You could at least try to relate to them and give them some thought, and speak to them as a person and not as a political figure or a representative of a machine.

Anyway. The speech wasn't all bad, there was one thing he said that I thought was pretty decent advice. But as I have implied, speech giving is likely not this man's forte so I have completely forgotten what it was he said.

But I do remember something that I thought was excellent advice (which I read in the Going Places magazine of all places), and here is Chuck Palahniuk to say it: