and I was thinking to myself...Why is there an unripe papaya in my sweet sweet ride? I know, I know, my car has not been the neatest car in the past couple of poor years that I've had but never once did I decide to litter it with a baby papaya.
Naturally, there could only be one logical explanation- the elves must have left it there on their way back to the nearest rainbow after their night off frolicking in the human realm drinking microbrews (they're hipster elves) and stealing the souls of homeless puppies. As they were taking the so-called short cut to The Pot of Gold (the entrance to the Rainbow Highway) which is indeed not far from where I dwell, they drunkenly decided to steal a premature tropical fruit to bring back for their wives to cook. But then along the way they got tired because their bag of puppy souls got heavier and heavier as their bodies started to weaken from alcohol and the fatigue of travel. So one of them, let's call him Elvis, made the decision to store it away for awhile until their next trip back to the people world. This is because they're quite sensitive to light and if they did not return asap, the sun would rise and they would then be able to see each others' warts (which will grow when exposed to sunlight thus making the scene even more traumatizing to witness) and they didn't want the horror of such a sight. Elvis was especially frightened of this because not only did he have warts, he had genital warts. I know what you're thinking, how can they be sensitive to sunlight but ride on rainbows? You need sunlight to make a rainbow. The answer to that is rather simple, nothing looks ugly on a rainbow. I'm also aware of the other question that you have in your mind, elves ride rainbows? Do you mean leprecauns? To answer that briefly, they're related thus they use the same route to get from their world to ours. OK? Anyway, back to the tale, as they were searching for a suitable place to stash their fine catch, they spotted my car and found it to be the most ideal of places next to the lonely abandoned slipper because that's the last place any weasel would look to swipe it. Little did they know that weasels are not native to Malaysia.
If that's not the truth of how that papaya got in there, I don't know what is. But my second best guess is that my mom picked it up from her friend's house. But I wouldn't bet any one of Ursula's fat black tentacles on that.
Later in the same day, while I was strolling around the aisles of the supermarket, I found this "toy" at the kid's section.
I know what you're thinking.
I thought so too.
I'd have taken a clearer picture but I was afraid everyone would know what I was doing.
(What was I doing?)
The erect banana-like thing had a face and "happy" written inside a heart on its body.
Could it get any better?
To be fair, it was one of those ring catcher things except this one was missing its rings. I don't think they intended it to be that phallic. I'm sure some kids stole his rings thus exposing him in such a manner. But at least, he can still smile and be happy despite his lost and humiliation. We can learn something from this people. I'm not quite sure what... but I'm sure there's a meaning to this discovery.
And that was my day.
1 comment:
now i understand why you think eric banana is funny :p
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