a friend's fiancee was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, given weeks to months to live. we ask "did he seem ill?" no he did not. how did he find out? sudden headaches and a fainting spell.
just a month ago, in his mind, he had a whole life to look forward to with my friend. now, the life will need to try and be lived within whatever time he has left. they are getting married in a few days. my heart breaks for my friend, but i am amazed at her courage, loyalty and love and pray that their marriage will last for eternity and hereafter. i suppose there is something to be said for muslim vows, where the bond does not part upon death.
my grandmother has had another series of strokes. each time she does, her memory suffers and her cognitive abilities. she is surrounded by devoted children, but she asks for her mother. nearing 100 years old, her peers have mostly long gone. she has raised 11 children, buried her husband, son (my dad) and two son in laws. when i look at her recent pictures i am shaken by how old she looks. she has always been "old" to me, but only recently did she ever look so terrified and lost. and i grasp just real old age is. and it will come to us all. if we are even lucky enough to survive that long. i feel guilty that i have not gone to see her recently. but i also realize i will just be another face she knows she doesnt recognize.
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half an hour later: I receive news that my friend's fiancee has passed away. al fatihah.
so I will sit here and watch my kids sleep and think about that for a while.
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