better with practice?

15th Feb 

10:00pm: Mild "fake" contractions began.

16th Feb 

1:00am: Woke up realizing the fake contractions were still happening and becoming more regular. Began timing on contraction app.

2:00am: Contractions timed at 5 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute long, for an hour. It's go time!

But is it? Self doubt seeped in, it's 10 days before the due date, what if this is a false alarm and I get sent home?

2:01am: Screw it, Azzahrah is 5 minutes away. Woke up Ikram who just went to bed after a Fargo marathon. He asked if it can wait until morning. Indignance seeps in. Heck no it can't wait until morning.

2:30am: At Azzahrah, the sleepy nurse looked at me like I am probably going to be sent back home. Hooked me up on the contraction machine and left.

2:45am: Machine confirmed I was having contractions, but only up to 35%. Nice midwife came in and checked me down there. 2cm dilated, cervix thin. Validation? Maybe. She called the doctor and then told us to check in. 

3:00am: Told that they will come back to check me after Subuh. Ikram looked like he was going to sleep standing up so we shared the bed. While he snored, I did breathing exercises to deal with the contractions. 

4:30am: Definitely real contraction. Had to fight the urge to kick sleeping Ikram.

6:30am: Nice midwife said I was 5-6cm dilated. Wheeled to labor room. Validation! But I couldn't care less because I was in paaaaaiiiin. 

6:35am: Nice midwife was replaced by evil old fat midwife who began to take every chance to poke and prod into my body with her chubby hand-- even when I was having brain exploding back breaking level contractions. (No I did not kick her in the face because unlike her, I am a human being.)

7:45am: Desire to take a big dump and to kick evil midwife in the face reached the pinnacle. Luckily the doctor and a million nurses came into the labor room and did a million useless things while I did all the work.

8:05am: Second or third push later, baby came out in a whoosh. I guess my fake contractions weren't fake after all. Welcome to the world darling Hamzah Arif!

All in all second time around seems eerily like the first time around, except it happened in a different hospital. Undoubtedly the first time was a much better experience, in no small way because I had the best midwife (Ms Reza). Never found out what evil midwife's name was, but she was definitely a reason I probably won't be going back to Azzahrah (or ever getting pregnant again). The hospital and doctors were good, room decent, nurses sweet and efficient, price reasonable. But seriously, terrible labor experience. Absolutely terrible. I can't remember if I cried giving birth to Omar, but I was quietly sobbing in between contractions in the labor room with Hamzah. Best part? After I was wheeled back to the room (first we were in a shared room while waiting for the single room to be free), I heard her talking to another lady in labor just behind the curtain and she was yapping about how labor is SUPPOSED to be painful or else its not labor, and don't cry bla bla bla. Seriously, if I didn't just go through labor and birthing, I would have reached across the curtain and smacked her face. Perempuan kurang ajar.