My opinions on a lot of things are usually simple and guided by weighing cost vs benefit-- so usually I try not to have too many strong opinions. On the opinions that getting grandparents to take care of grandkids as haram, I want to laugh, scoff and yell at the same time. The things people make issues out of! I myself have relied on the kindness and generosity and HELP of my mother when taking care of my son alone in a foreign country seemed like an impossible task. Because my mother had her own bills to pay and dependents, and because she took unpaid leave, we tried our best to compensate monetarily. It was a temporary arrangement but one that contributed heavily towards me successfully getting my PhD. I am sure my mother too remembers her own time as a young parent, relying on the kindness of her mother in helping out with raising us. And I hope one day to be in the position where I can help my own children with their children if they ever need it. Ever heard of the saying it takes a village to raise a child? If not that, it certainly takes a family. (in fact the Prophet SAW was raised by his grandfather and uncle. of course he was orphaned but its the principle) Different people have different circumstances so keep your misguided opinions to
yourselves. If there were circumstances where the grown children were simply taking advantage of their aging parents, then that is their family's conflict and certainly Allah will judge them in kind.Now for breastfeeding selfies. Seriously have people seen the sort of selfies people take nowadays? some are just short of vulgar. Yang tu tak bising pulak. If a mom wants to post selfies of herself breastfeeding because she is the types who post selfies, thats her prerogative. Most breastfeeding techniques I know involve the nipple being in the childs mouth instead of being exposed (as some non breastfeeding selfies may be). Would it be as bad if she posted a selfie of her bottlefeeding her child? Such selfies are not for me personally, but I dont get what the fuss is about. The fact that people are making so much fuss about it just convinces me that society in general still cant accept the idea of women breastfeeding. It is still seen as something that should be done behind closed doors. As a former breastfeeding mom, and insyaallah soon to be one again-- trust me nothing makes me happier than to have the privacy to feed my child when he wants it without the prying or judgmental eyes of certain members of the public. Usually these members never have to experience 9months of pregnancy, 24hours of labor, then 6 months of breastfeeding every 2-3hrs with little rest in between, not to mention the stress and responsibility of being the sole nutritional provider of a very fragile precious human. These members never have to know the amount of energy and effort and thickness of skin that women and mothers need to have to deal with their bullcrap opinions. But I dont always have that leisure. And I know some people think breastfeeding should be done in the toilet if there isnt a parents room available--I have done that but out of courtesy to these less mature members of society, not because I believe my sons meals should be taken in a place where everyone else defecates and urinates. So give me a break when I quiet down my child out of consideration for YOU, even if it means you now publicly know the dirty secret that I am in fact A COW.
**insert angry scream**
Seriously people, lets channel our energies into opinions that really matter, with tangible cost and second and third party harm--like when trusted leaders are squandering the country's wealth, or rape and child abuse still are rampant because the laws neither sufficiently protect the victim nor punish the offender. Wallahualam.
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