5 years have passed since he's gone. i can say it's easier now, but hasn't always been. i'm still sad about it. still get choked up when i'm reminded of him. still uncomfortable talking about it. sometimes i find myself still crying behind wheels or under the shower/blanket.
5 years gone, now i feel like i can survive other devastating events since i have survived the single most heart shattering one in my life, yet. it does make me stronger but it also makes me more icy to the world.
trying to do right by mom this time. although it doesn't always translate into what seems like an act of love. i'm not naturally a PDA type of person. it's quite hard to change now but i'm trying. really hard.
9 more months to go. hopefully i can finish school on time. hopefully my heart will get some peace after the promise has been fulfilled.
InsyaAllah. And Al-Fatihah to you. I will always love you.
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