Omar has caught a bug. That was to be expected at some point. Unfortunately, he caught a bug the same time I caught a bug. And so, at the start of 2014 (what?! when did that happen), I find myself and my 4 1/2 month old son (and stars, pun there) coughing up our pleura--occasionally in sync which is kind of comically painful.
He is napping right now, a very long nap for about 2 hours and a half now, and every now and then I need to check whether the gurgly sounds are from his sinuses or nauzubillah from his lungs. So far it all seems to be post nasal drip. But that said, it is no joke either. Omar is not a fussy baby typically, and he managed to turn from tummy to back thrice today (yay!), but as I was videotaping him and trying to get it on camera, he suddenly started coughing nastily and would not stop. He was also very sleepy so he was getting crankier and crankier. Eventually he stopped coughing and he dozed off-- only to be interrupted rudely by another stretch of coughs! Poor thing started crying, almost as if out of frustration. But yes alhamdulillah, after all that he's slept long enough for me to pray, pick up the laundry, cut my nails, go to the loo, make early dinner and watch it over back to back project runway allstars, and obviously, to write this post.
I had anticipated this day some time ago, fearing it dreadfully. Being a single mother here does that, because if he gets sick I need to make the decisions AND execute them. Factor in the fact that my stroller barely fits my doorway, and that the building does not have a ramp for a stroller (though fortunately the one step isn't too high), the stroller barely fits the BUILDING door that is made of super heavy glass-- going out is an arduous task, going out to go to the clinic is a pain. And oh, yes, I too am sick. Alhamdulillah, my friends (who are doctors) were over and they reassured me that it is probably viral (which should be self limiting) and that going to clinic right now would mean I get sent home without any meds anyway. I do not prefer meds for my baby, so that is fine. But seeing him cough the way he did just now freaked me out just enough. I am quite relieved that I am not as emo about it as I imagined I would be. I mean, watching him sleep and imagining the worse (like I did 10 minutes ago) did make me tear up a bit, but tears are wasteful and I have to conserve energy and emotion to function well enough to run the house, keep myself and baby clean and fed and hopefully, put us on the path of recovery.
Somewhere in all this I keep thinking, God has a plan. He is making us suffer a little bit with this cold so that our immunity is built gradually. We will survive this, I will eventually get well enough to want to do the mountain of work at the office/lab that I cannot do right now (because there is no one to help take care of the baby at home, also he no longer wants my milk in a bottle. only the udder-fresh version), and that once daycare starts I can function at work again.
Then I think, he will be 5 months soon, going on 6 months, which means I need to start introducing solids and the bundles of joy that come with it such as: food aversion, potential allergies (nauzubillah), and constipation (nauzubillah)... Ok actually it is kind of exciting. My little man eating big people food. :) Messy face photos and bibs.
But that is for later. This week is reserved for conquering the bug.
If I had to have one reflection about 2013 (being pregnant alone, having baby and raising him alone) it would be this: life is now harder with Omar. but it is infinitely better. I am looking forward to one day giving that example to him when the going gets tough. I would want to say, "Easy isn't always better my son. Pregnancy, birth, and raising a child on my own are the hardest things that I have ever had to do. But without a doubt they are the most rewarding, I was the happiest I had ever been."
He is napping right now, a very long nap for about 2 hours and a half now, and every now and then I need to check whether the gurgly sounds are from his sinuses or nauzubillah from his lungs. So far it all seems to be post nasal drip. But that said, it is no joke either. Omar is not a fussy baby typically, and he managed to turn from tummy to back thrice today (yay!), but as I was videotaping him and trying to get it on camera, he suddenly started coughing nastily and would not stop. He was also very sleepy so he was getting crankier and crankier. Eventually he stopped coughing and he dozed off-- only to be interrupted rudely by another stretch of coughs! Poor thing started crying, almost as if out of frustration. But yes alhamdulillah, after all that he's slept long enough for me to pray, pick up the laundry, cut my nails, go to the loo, make early dinner and watch it over back to back project runway allstars, and obviously, to write this post.
I had anticipated this day some time ago, fearing it dreadfully. Being a single mother here does that, because if he gets sick I need to make the decisions AND execute them. Factor in the fact that my stroller barely fits my doorway, and that the building does not have a ramp for a stroller (though fortunately the one step isn't too high), the stroller barely fits the BUILDING door that is made of super heavy glass-- going out is an arduous task, going out to go to the clinic is a pain. And oh, yes, I too am sick. Alhamdulillah, my friends (who are doctors) were over and they reassured me that it is probably viral (which should be self limiting) and that going to clinic right now would mean I get sent home without any meds anyway. I do not prefer meds for my baby, so that is fine. But seeing him cough the way he did just now freaked me out just enough. I am quite relieved that I am not as emo about it as I imagined I would be. I mean, watching him sleep and imagining the worse (like I did 10 minutes ago) did make me tear up a bit, but tears are wasteful and I have to conserve energy and emotion to function well enough to run the house, keep myself and baby clean and fed and hopefully, put us on the path of recovery.
Somewhere in all this I keep thinking, God has a plan. He is making us suffer a little bit with this cold so that our immunity is built gradually. We will survive this, I will eventually get well enough to want to do the mountain of work at the office/lab that I cannot do right now (because there is no one to help take care of the baby at home, also he no longer wants my milk in a bottle. only the udder-fresh version), and that once daycare starts I can function at work again.
Then I think, he will be 5 months soon, going on 6 months, which means I need to start introducing solids and the bundles of joy that come with it such as: food aversion, potential allergies (nauzubillah), and constipation (nauzubillah)... Ok actually it is kind of exciting. My little man eating big people food. :) Messy face photos and bibs.
But that is for later. This week is reserved for conquering the bug.
If I had to have one reflection about 2013 (being pregnant alone, having baby and raising him alone) it would be this: life is now harder with Omar. but it is infinitely better. I am looking forward to one day giving that example to him when the going gets tough. I would want to say, "Easy isn't always better my son. Pregnancy, birth, and raising a child on my own are the hardest things that I have ever had to do. But without a doubt they are the most rewarding, I was the happiest I had ever been."
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